Airport Humor Lover Gifts

Stop flicking that lighter !

Security Guards Escort Cupid Away

"Carry your wallet, Mister"

Carefree luggage.

"Sorry, you're only allowed one carrion."

Vampire on a plane

Man watches a cat enter a pet door to a "V.I.P. Lounge" in an airport

'Yep, another set of incisors that are too sharp for security regulations. You'll need to wear a muzzle during the flight, ma'am.'

'My husband, Bill, works at the airport - I still haven't opened my birthday presents from three years ago.'

"O.K., you're good. Next!"

'We don't charge you any extra, but we will hate you,'

Bob was headed on a long trip but had forgotten his suitcase. Luckily, the airport folks were one step ahead.

'Stealth broom.'

"Flight time is approximately 3 seconds and - I won't lie to you folks - it's a bit choppy up there."

The Problem with the TSA

Sometimes they need the oxygen mask after they see the new baggage fees.

The first in-flight meal: "Care for some soup?"

'Those new airport scanners can see through clothes!'

Baggage Reclaim

Travel Law #135: Those with window seats are the last to arrive.' People climb over other passengers on an airplane.

"Please remove your shoes, realize you forgot to wear socks, accept your fate, and make peace with your god."

'Did you Gack this suitcase yourself, sir?'

Airport Security. Sir, one of your tubs is empty. That one's got my dignity!

Two witches at airport waiting with signs: One says 'Dorothy' and the other one says 'And Your Little Dog Too!'

'Don't worry, I have this procedure down pat.'

What really killed the dinsaurs.

Baggage Claim: Anyone Who Knows How To Hot-Wire A Car.

"Hey, thanks again for letting me borrow your pen."

"We'll now start boarding Group 9... Please remember your inferiority as you walk past the other groups, you cheap, dirty, cretins."

'You've got to admire their candor.'

Uh Oh...

'Hmm, your luggage seems to have been booked through to India.'

Revealing Airport Security

'Welcome to crash-test flight 000. Go ahead and take your seat!'

Carr. Smith. Pepper Oni. Gate.