Airport Humor Fan Gifts

Two witches at airport waiting with signs: One says 'Dorothy' and the other one says 'And Your Little Dog Too!'

The Problem with the TSA

Terrorists.

Carefree luggage.

"Sorry, you're only allowed one carrion."

Vampire on a plane

Man watches a cat enter a pet door to a "V.I.P. Lounge" in an airport

'Yep, another set of incisors that are too sharp for security regulations. You'll need to wear a muzzle during the flight, ma'am.'

"O.K., you're good. Next!"

'My husband, Bill, works at the airport - I still haven't opened my birthday presents from three years ago.'

'Then, to stop the spread, they burned the village and sent me home.'

"Flight time is approximately 3 seconds and - I won't lie to you folks - it's a bit choppy up there."

Bob was headed on a long trip but had forgotten his suitcase. Luckily, the airport folks were one step ahead.

'We don't charge you any extra, but we will hate you,'

The first in-flight meal: "Care for some soup?"

Baggage Reclaim

'Did you Gack this suitcase yourself, sir?'

'Those new airport scanners can see through clothes!'

Travel Law #135: Those with window seats are the last to arrive.' People climb over other passengers on an airplane.

"Please remove your shoes, realize you forgot to wear socks, accept your fate, and make peace with your god."

Sometimes they need the oxygen mask after they see the new baggage fees.

Airport Security. Sir, one of your tubs is empty. That one's got my dignity!

'Don't worry, I have this procedure down pat.'

What really killed the dinsaurs.

"Hey, thanks again for letting me borrow your pen."

"We'll now start boarding Group 9... Please remember your inferiority as you walk past the other groups, you cheap, dirty, cretins."

'You've got to admire their candor.'

Uh Oh...

'...Every time he goes on the track we have to notify air traffic control.'

"This would be a lot easier if we all didn't look alike"

Revealing Airport Security

"No one wants a drink, no one wants a snack...I don't know who I am anymore."

'Hmm, your luggage seems to have been booked through to India.'

'Welcome to crash-test flight 000. Go ahead and take your seat!'

Carr. Smith. Pepper Oni. Gate.