Airport Humor Fan Prints

The Problem with the TSA

Terrorists.

Carefree luggage.

"Sorry, you're only allowed one carrion."

Vampire on a plane

Man watches a cat enter a pet door to a "V.I.P. Lounge" in an airport

'My husband, Bill, works at the airport - I still haven't opened my birthday presents from three years ago.'

"O.K., you're good. Next!"

'Then, to stop the spread, they burned the village and sent me home.'

'We don't charge you any extra, but we will hate you,'

Bob was headed on a long trip but had forgotten his suitcase. Luckily, the airport folks were one step ahead.

"Flight time is approximately 3 seconds and - I won't lie to you folks - it's a bit choppy up there."

'Those new airport scanners can see through clothes!'

"Please remove your shoes, realize you forgot to wear socks, accept your fate, and make peace with your god."

Baggage Reclaim

The first in-flight meal: "Care for some soup?"

Travel Law #135: Those with window seats are the last to arrive.' People climb over other passengers on an airplane.

'Don't worry, I have this procedure down pat.'

"Hey, thanks again for letting me borrow your pen."

What really killed the dinsaurs.

"We'll now start boarding Group 9... Please remember your inferiority as you walk past the other groups, you cheap, dirty, cretins."

'You've got to admire their candor.'

Uh Oh...

'Welcome to crash-test flight 000. Go ahead and take your seat!'

'...Every time he goes on the track we have to notify air traffic control.'

'Hmm, your luggage seems to have been booked through to India.'

Revealing Airport Security

"No one wants a drink, no one wants a snack...I don't know who I am anymore."

"This would be a lot easier if we all didn't look alike"

'If she bites, you've got 18 seconds to suck the poison out,'

'What's the best way to get to the nearest Post Office?' 'By Easyjet.'