Airport Satire Fan Gifts

Revealing Airport Security

Carefree luggage.

'Oh great. Our luggage has been sent to Alpha Centauri.'

"Sorry, you're only allowed one carrion."

1989 Map Of Sorghum Corners, Ohio

Lot for people who don't know how to park.

"Or we could turn on the TV and let younger, more beautiful people have sex for us."

Man watches a cat enter a pet door to a "V.I.P. Lounge" in an airport

"O.K., you're good. Next!"

'My husband, Bill, works at the airport - I still haven't opened my birthday presents from three years ago.'

'Then, to stop the spread, they burned the village and sent me home.'

Do not pass.

"You have luggage? - Oh, we don't do LUGGAGE any more."

'Cannibalism has always repulsed me - until i tasted Aunty Judy's knees'

"I only have one suitcase, so what's the problem?"

Bob was headed on a long trip but had forgotten his suitcase. Luckily, the airport folks were one step ahead.

'We don't charge you any extra, but we will hate you,'

The Problem with the TSA

'Did you Gack this suitcase yourself, sir?'

Airport Security. Sir, one of your tubs is empty. That one's got my dignity!

'Those new airport scanners can see through clothes!'

Woman on a Pedestal. . . Who Married the Mothers Boy.

Baggage Reclaim

Two witches at airport waiting with signs: One says 'Dorothy' and the other one says 'And Your Little Dog Too!'

'Don't worry, I have this procedure down pat.'

'Uh oh. Cougar alert.'

'I've always been a great fan of yours. I wrote all your books!'

"Aside from the foot, do you think my parking's getting better?"

"Goddam Dogs."

"We'll now start boarding Group 9... Please remember your inferiority as you walk past the other groups, you cheap, dirty, cretins."

"50p or I sing that high bit of Bridge over troubled water"

Uh Oh...

"This would be a lot easier if we all didn't look alike"

Carr. Smith. Pepper Oni. Gate.

Airlines Charge For...Aisle seats, Exit seats, carry-on luggage...