Airport Humor Aficionados Pillows

Airport Checkpoints

'I'm sorry, Madame, but you've got to pass the scanner one more time!'

Carefree luggage.

"Sorry, you're only allowed one carrion."

'I'm not taking that money to buy drugs. I'm taking it to pay bribes if I'm caught with my drugs.'

Man watches a cat enter a pet door to a "V.I.P. Lounge" in an airport

'My husband, Bill, works at the airport - I still haven't opened my birthday presents from three years ago.'

"O.K., you're good. Next!"

Bob was headed on a long trip but had forgotten his suitcase. Luckily, the airport folks were one step ahead.

'We don't charge you any extra, but we will hate you,'

'Stealth broom.'

The Problem with the TSA

'Those new airport scanners can see through clothes!'

Baggage Reclaim

"The sniffer dog had found cocaine again."

'Don't worry, I have this procedure down pat.'

"Bad news. Our luggage went to the same place my old job did."

"We'll now start boarding Group 9... Please remember your inferiority as you walk past the other groups, you cheap, dirty, cretins."

Uh Oh...

Airport Pickups: Mr. Baines, Vinny and Daisy.

Revealing Airport Security

"This would be a lot easier if we all didn't look alike"

"No luggage."

Santa Security Check

'If she bites, you've got 18 seconds to suck the poison out,'

'Attention, Flight 1362...In our customer Lounge we're showing a short film: 'Blooper Reels of Strip Searches' to help pass the time...'

Excess Baggage: You are old enough to remember when folks got all dressed up to travel.

"The shoes."

'Radical snow removal method #23 at the airport.'