Airport Humor Seeker Pillows

Deportation desk

Carefree luggage.

"Sorry, you're only allowed one carrion."

Vampire on a plane

"I'll put this device onto flight mode when you put this plane onto flight mode."

Man watches a cat enter a pet door to a "V.I.P. Lounge" in an airport

"O.K., you're good. Next!"

'My husband, Bill, works at the airport - I still haven't opened my birthday presents from three years ago.'

'We don't charge you any extra, but we will hate you,'

The Problem with the TSA

"Flight time is approximately 3 seconds and - I won't lie to you folks - it's a bit choppy up there."

Bob was headed on a long trip but had forgotten his suitcase. Luckily, the airport folks were one step ahead.

'Stealth broom.'

The first in-flight meal: "Care for some soup?"

Baggage Reclaim

'Those new airport scanners can see through clothes!'

"Please remove your shoes, realize you forgot to wear socks, accept your fate, and make peace with your god."

"The sniffer dog had found cocaine again."

'Don't worry, I have this procedure down pat.'

Baggage Claim: Anyone Who Knows How To Hot-Wire A Car.

"Bad news. Our luggage went to the same place my old job did."

What really killed the dinsaurs.

"We'll now start boarding Group 9... Please remember your inferiority as you walk past the other groups, you cheap, dirty, cretins."

'You've got to admire their candor.'

Uh Oh...

Revealing Airport Security

'Hmm, your luggage seems to have been booked through to India.'

"This would be a lot easier if we all didn't look alike"

'Welcome to crash-test flight 000. Go ahead and take your seat!'