Airport Jokester Gifts

Carefree luggage.

Airport Security.

Cow Blue Arrows

"Sorry, you're only allowed one carrion."

Sometimes nature not only calls; she makes an emergency breakthrough.

"How's my tripping you up?"

Fume Leaks on aeroplane - 'Perfume? Drinks? Air?'

Man watches a cat enter a pet door to a "V.I.P. Lounge" in an airport

"O.K., you're good. Next!"

'Yep, another set of incisors that are too sharp for security regulations. You'll need to wear a muzzle during the flight, ma'am.'

"Good news, sir – your carry-on has been upgraded to business class."

'My husband, Bill, works at the airport - I still haven't opened my birthday presents from three years ago.'

Airline: Arrivals, Departures, Missing Luggage and Missing Planes.

Man skated through airport with rollers on pull bag.

'We don't charge you any extra, but we will hate you,'

Bob was headed on a long trip but had forgotten his suitcase. Luckily, the airport folks were one step ahead.

You're Here. Man, You Really Look Like An Idiot!

The Problem with the TSA

"It's me. I was going through a 'Bon Jovi Phase.'"

Baggage Reclaim

"No, I said, 'You turn here, not, 'U-Turn here'."

'Sorry sir, the 'No Steak and Lobster Jokes' sign just came on.'

"There it is again, that tapping..."

'Those new airport scanners can see through clothes!'

"People are way too casual when they fly these days."

Airport Security. Sir, one of your tubs is empty. That one's got my dignity!

'Did you Gack this suitcase yourself, sir?'

Two witches at airport waiting with signs: One says 'Dorothy' and the other one says 'And Your Little Dog Too!'

'Don't worry, I have this procedure down pat.'

Customs caution: rabid tarantulas with AIDS inside

Galley Christmas

"Bad news. Our luggage went to the same place my old job did."

"We'll now start boarding Group 9... Please remember your inferiority as you walk past the other groups, you cheap, dirty, cretins."

"In my defense it is an exit and the line was really long..."

Excess Baggage: Never let your wife pack for your business trip while she is mad at you.