Airline Jokester Gifts

Fume Leaks on aeroplane - 'Perfume? Drinks? Air?'

Carefree luggage.

'Oh great. Our luggage has been sent to Alpha Centauri.'

Cow Blue Arrows

"Sorry, you're only allowed one carrion."

'Flight simulator'

Vampire on a plane

Santa knows he has to be more careful. One more accident due to pilot error, and the FAA would take away his pilot's license for good.

"Arr, we found your luggage, Captain."

"It's my helper trout!"

"I'll put this device onto flight mode when you put this plane onto flight mode."

"How's my tripping you up?"

'The best part is being able to fly without taking off your shoes.'

"RAF Recruitment Waiting Room."

Man watches a cat enter a pet door to a "V.I.P. Lounge" in an airport

Emergency Slide Height Limit.

'My husband, Bill, works at the airport - I still haven't opened my birthday presents from three years ago.'

"Good news, sir – your carry-on has been upgraded to business class."

Cow Pilot.

"There is no air conditioning in the luggage compartment so stand up straight and stop licking your nose!"

Airline: Arrivals, Departures, Missing Luggage and Missing Planes.

'Here comes the in-flight meal.'

'Hello, this is your captain speaking... I'm on the next flight!'

A signaller directing pallbearers

'Catching lunch again Steward?'

"You have luggage? - Oh, we don't do LUGGAGE any more."

"Flight time is approximately 3 seconds and - I won't lie to you folks - it's a bit choppy up there."

Man skated through airport with rollers on pull bag.

"I only have one suitcase, so what's the problem?"

'Captain, a passenger says there's a gremlin out on the wing of the plane.'

"In the event of a water landing, your seat cushions may be used as flotation devices. And, your tray tables may be used to bash sharks."

"It's me. I was going through a 'Bon Jovi Phase.'"

'For a little extra we can allocate you a seat inside the aircraft.'

"A sad incident at LaGuardia Airport today as a depressed 757 landed and burst into tears."

"I always end up next to the weirdo!"