Airline Jokester Gifts

Fume Leaks on aeroplane - 'Perfume? Drinks? Air?'

Carefree luggage.

'Oh great. Our luggage has been sent to Alpha Centauri.'

Cow Blue Arrows

"Sorry, you're only allowed one carrion."

'Flight simulator'

Santa knows he has to be more careful. One more accident due to pilot error, and the FAA would take away his pilot's license for good.

"Arr, we found your luggage, Captain."

"It's my helper trout!"

Vampire on a plane

"I'll put this device onto flight mode when you put this plane onto flight mode."

'The best part is being able to fly without taking off your shoes.'

"How's my tripping you up?"

"RAF Recruitment Waiting Room."

Man watches a cat enter a pet door to a "V.I.P. Lounge" in an airport

Emergency Slide Height Limit.

"Good news, sir – your carry-on has been upgraded to business class."

'My husband, Bill, works at the airport - I still haven't opened my birthday presents from three years ago.'

Cow Pilot.

"There is no air conditioning in the luggage compartment so stand up straight and stop licking your nose!"

'Hello, this is your captain speaking... I'm on the next flight!'

Airline: Arrivals, Departures, Missing Luggage and Missing Planes.

'Here comes the in-flight meal.'

"Flight time is approximately 3 seconds and - I won't lie to you folks - it's a bit choppy up there."

Man skated through airport with rollers on pull bag.

'Catching lunch again Steward?'

'Captain, a passenger says there's a gremlin out on the wing of the plane.'

A signaller directing pallbearers

"You have luggage? - Oh, we don't do LUGGAGE any more."

"I only have one suitcase, so what's the problem?"

"A sad incident at LaGuardia Airport today as a depressed 757 landed and burst into tears."

"I always end up next to the weirdo!"

"In the event of a water landing, your seat cushions may be used as flotation devices. And, your tray tables may be used to bash sharks."

'For a little extra we can allocate you a seat inside the aircraft.'

"It's me. I was going through a 'Bon Jovi Phase.'"