Airline Humor Lover Gifts

'You're just the kind of person we're looking for to test our airplane seats.'

'Sir, before boarding would you two be interested in upgrading your seats to seats?'

"Arr, we found your luggage, Captain."

Vampire on a plane

"It's my helper trout!"

"I'll put this device onto flight mode when you put this plane onto flight mode."

Emergency Slide Height Limit.

"O.K., you're good. Next!"

'Then, to stop the spread, they burned the village and sent me home.'

'Hello, this is your captain speaking... I'm on the next flight!'

The Problem with the TSA

"You have luggage? - Oh, we don't do LUGGAGE any more."

"I only have one suitcase, so what's the problem?"

"Flight time is approximately 3 seconds and - I won't lie to you folks - it's a bit choppy up there."

'Stealth broom.'

"I always end up next to the weirdo!"

Two birds refuel.

I brake for Jetliners.

Sometimes they need the oxygen mask after they see the new baggage fees.

'Those new airport scanners can see through clothes!'

Travel Law #135: Those with window seats are the last to arrive.' People climb over other passengers on an airplane.

The first in-flight meal: "Care for some soup?"

"Please remove your shoes, realize you forgot to wear socks, accept your fate, and make peace with your god."

Two witches at airport waiting with signs: One says 'Dorothy' and the other one says 'And Your Little Dog Too!'

'Once you're seated and have safely stowed all carry-ons, we'll start the bidding for seat belts.'

"You think you're annoyed? The acoustics in here are terrible!"

'Wait, what's that on runway one?...Ok I got it, just another one of those budget carriers.'

"Hey, thanks again for letting me borrow your pen."

What really killed the dinsaurs.

'You've got to admire their candor.'

'Hmm, your luggage seems to have been booked through to India.'

Security Guards Escort Cupid Away

'...Every time he goes on the track we have to notify air traffic control.'

"In the unlikely event of a water landing, your seat cushion is also a whoopee cushion."

"No one wants a drink, no one wants a snack...I don't know who I am anymore."