Airplane Comedy Lover Gifts

I brake for Jetliners.

"Arr, we found your luggage, Captain."

To prevent geese from flying toward its planes, Jupiter Airlines made some key design changes,

'Then, to stop the spread, they burned the village and sent me home.'

'Stealth broom.'

'This is your passenger speaking. Where the hell is my coffee?!'

'Stop complaining. We can't afford business class any more.'

"I always end up next to the weirdo!"

Two birds refuel.

Travel Law #135: Those with window seats are the last to arrive.' People climb over other passengers on an airplane.

The first in-flight meal: "Care for some soup?"

'How the heck are we supposed to land on a runway that's upside down?'

"Hey, thanks again for letting me borrow your pen."

I was telling him a story of my granddaughter's wedding.

'Once you're seated and have safely stowed all carry-ons, we'll start the bidding for seat belts.'

What really killed the dinsaurs.

Grim reaper struggles to get his scythe in the overhead locker of an aeroplane.

"You think you're annoyed? The acoustics in here are terrible!"

Hand Luggage Restrictions.

"Sir, you've been downgraded to the baggage compartment."

'Hmm, your luggage seems to have been booked through to India.'

"No one wants a drink, no one wants a snack...I don't know who I am anymore."

Security Guards Escort Cupid Away

'...Every time he goes on the track we have to notify air traffic control.'

'So...Now I can get American's loudy service and U.S. airways inept baggage handling all in one convenient airline?'

'Is this business class?'

Tranguility Airlines,

Obliging as always, Elliot agrees to take a flying leap.

Every now and then, Doreen liked to see how many people were paying attention to her safety talk.

'Radical snow removal method #23 at the airport.'

'You're just the kind of person we're looking for to test our airplane seats.'

Stop flicking that lighter !

'Only one arm rest? Sheesh! Airlines are getting so cheap!'

'I aim to be the first man to cross the Atlantic in a tin bath!'

For the chemist on the go: Laptop gas chromatography/mass spectrometer.