Airplane Comedy Lover Gifts

I brake for Jetliners.

"Arr, we found your luggage, Captain."

'Then, to stop the spread, they burned the village and sent me home.'

'Stealth broom.'

"I always end up next to the weirdo!"

Two birds refuel.

'This is your passenger speaking. Where the hell is my coffee?!'

'Stop complaining. We can't afford business class any more.'

Travel Law #135: Those with window seats are the last to arrive.' People climb over other passengers on an airplane.

The first in-flight meal: "Care for some soup?"

'How the heck are we supposed to land on a runway that's upside down?'

"Hey, thanks again for letting me borrow your pen."

"You think you're annoyed? The acoustics in here are terrible!"

'Once you're seated and have safely stowed all carry-ons, we'll start the bidding for seat belts.'

I was telling him a story of my granddaughter's wedding.

Grim reaper struggles to get his scythe in the overhead locker of an aeroplane.

What really killed the dinsaurs.

Hand Luggage Restrictions.

'Hmm, your luggage seems to have been booked through to India.'

"No one wants a drink, no one wants a snack...I don't know who I am anymore."

'...Every time he goes on the track we have to notify air traffic control.'

"Sir, you've been downgraded to the baggage compartment."

'Is this business class?'

Obliging as always, Elliot agrees to take a flying leap.

'Radical snow removal method #23 at the airport.'

Stop flicking that lighter !

'You're just the kind of person we're looking for to test our airplane seats.'

'Only one arm rest? Sheesh! Airlines are getting so cheap!'

'I aim to be the first man to cross the Atlantic in a tin bath!'

For the chemist on the go: Laptop gas chromatography/mass spectrometer.

'When will we be breaking the sound barrier?'