Aviation Comedy Lover Gifts

'Only one arm rest? Sheesh! Airlines are getting so cheap!'

I was telling him a story of my granddaughter's wedding.

Santa knows he has to be more careful. One more accident due to pilot error, and the FAA would take away his pilot's license for good.

'The best part is being able to fly without taking off your shoes.'

"RAF Recruitment Waiting Room."

Cow Pilot.

"There is no air conditioning in the luggage compartment so stand up straight and stop licking your nose!"

'Here comes the in-flight meal.'

'Stealth broom.'

'Captain, a passenger says there's a gremlin out on the wing of the plane.'

'Catching lunch again Steward?'

"Can we not fly in a "V"? Victor broke up with me."

Two birds refuel.

"A sad incident at LaGuardia Airport today as a depressed 757 landed and burst into tears."

"In the event of a water landing, your seat cushions may be used as flotation devices. And, your tray tables may be used to bash sharks."

"I always end up next to the weirdo!"

'Stop complaining. We can't afford business class any more.'

'This is your passenger speaking. Where the hell is my coffee?!'

'I always ask for a seat in the tail. You never hear of a plane backing into a mountain...'

Birds talk about flying...we land in the Hudson all the time - no big deal.

'I‘ll be relieved when they invent the aeroplane, these long trips are playing havoc with my wings'.

' ... and that's a policy giving you flight insurance covering mid-air bankruptcies.'

Travel Law #135: Those with window seats are the last to arrive.' People climb over other passengers on an airplane.

The first in-flight meal: "Care for some soup?"

I brake for Jetliners.

'How the heck are we supposed to land on a runway that's upside down?'

'I went to wash the wheels on that European Airbus A380 by myself. I didn't know it had 22 wheels.'

Grim reaper struggles to get his scythe in the overhead locker of an aeroplane.

What really killed the dinsaurs.

"Hey, thanks again for letting me borrow your pen."

"You think you're annoyed? The acoustics in here are terrible!"

'Once you're seated and have safely stowed all carry-ons, we'll start the bidding for seat belts.'

The FS-2004 has a great new add-on!

'Your $5 gets your 3 minutes in the lavatory--now how much toilet paper would you like to purchase?'

'You imbecile!! Didn't i tell you to watch our altitude?! / A co-pilot accidentally flies too high ending up in heaven and smacking into an angel