Flight Comedy Lover Gifts

'Stop complaining. We can't afford business class any more.'

'This is your passenger speaking. Where the hell is my coffee?!'

'...heard the one about the Venusian, the Martian and the Saturnian?'

"Arr, we found your luggage, Captain."

'Can you believe it? - The doofus doesn't know whether this is the Alpha Quadrant or not!'

"It's Houston. They have a problem."

To prevent geese from flying toward its planes, Jupiter Airlines made some key design changes,

'Stealth broom.'

"Can we not fly in a "V"? Victor broke up with me."

'I've had a toothache for the last million light years, take me to your dentist.'

Two birds refuel.

I brake for Jetliners.

Travel Law #135: Those with window seats are the last to arrive.' People climb over other passengers on an airplane.

'I was chatting with Krog when, out of the blue, that thing fell on him.'

The first in-flight meal: "Care for some soup?"

'How the heck are we supposed to land on a runway that's upside down?'

Grim reaper struggles to get his scythe in the overhead locker of an aeroplane.

'Once you're seated and have safely stowed all carry-ons, we'll start the bidding for seat belts.'

I was telling him a story of my granddaughter's wedding.

What really killed the dinsaurs.

'Sir, you're not going to believe this but the vatican is preparing to move into our territory.'

"Hey, thanks again for letting me borrow your pen."

'Next time the captain says to turn off your cell phone, just do it!'

'Hmm, your luggage seems to have been booked through to India.'

'...Every time he goes on the track we have to notify air traffic control.'

"Sir, you've been downgraded to the baggage compartment."

"No one wants a drink, no one wants a snack...I don't know who I am anymore."

"Maybe they've oversimplified the cockpit controls."

'I'm afraid we're out of whisky, sir -- the pilot drank it all.'

'World peace? No -- but we've brought you some very advanced dishwashing detergents!'

'So...Now I can get American's loudy service and U.S. airways inept baggage handling all in one convenient airline?'

Tranguility Airlines,

'Is this business class?'

'Radical snow removal method #23 at the airport.'

'You're just the kind of person we're looking for to test our airplane seats.'