Air Travel Comedy Fans Gifts

Grim reaper struggles to get his scythe in the overhead locker of an aeroplane.

"Damn. I think I missed the turn for Bethlehem."

"Arr, we found your luggage, Captain."

Vampire on a plane

"I'll put this device onto flight mode when you put this plane onto flight mode."

'Then, to stop the spread, they burned the village and sent me home.'

A signaller directing pallbearers

The Problem with the TSA

"Can we not fly in a "V"? Victor broke up with me."

'Stealth broom.'

"Flight time is approximately 3 seconds and - I won't lie to you folks - it's a bit choppy up there."

'This is your passenger speaking. Where the hell is my coffee?!'

'Stop complaining. We can't afford business class any more.'

"Please remove your shoes, realize you forgot to wear socks, accept your fate, and make peace with your god."

I brake for Jetliners.

"Yeah, it's a drag, but the only flight I could get was a red-eye."

Travel Law #135: Those with window seats are the last to arrive.' People climb over other passengers on an airplane.

I was telling him a story of my granddaughter's wedding.

'You want to go somewhere really hot - that can be arranged.'

"And this is my niece. She's four. She'd also love to eat you."

'You've got to admire their candor.'

'...Every time he goes on the track we have to notify air traffic control.'

"No one wants a drink, no one wants a snack...I don't know who I am anymore."

"Sir, you've been downgraded to the baggage compartment."

'Remember our last cruise The porthole is not a wall safe,'

'Welcome to crash-test flight 000. Go ahead and take your seat!'

'Maybe now you'll admit that we're lost!?'

Revealing Airport Security

"We get your point about legroom, now please put them back in the cabin"

'What's the best way to get to the nearest Post Office?' 'By Easyjet.'

'Remember...over there we're snails, not escargot.'

"Oh yeah, I forgot to ask. 'did you want anything to drink?'"

Smokers smoking outside of a plane.