Air Travel Comedy Fans Gifts

Grim reaper struggles to get his scythe in the overhead locker of an aeroplane.

"Damn. I think I missed the turn for Bethlehem."

"Arr, we found your luggage, Captain."

Vampire on a plane

"I'll put this device onto flight mode when you put this plane onto flight mode."

1,000 places to see after you die by Shirley Maclaine.

'Then, to stop the spread, they burned the village and sent me home.'

A signaller directing pallbearers

'Stealth broom.'

"Can we not fly in a "V"? Victor broke up with me."

The Problem with the TSA

"Flight time is approximately 3 seconds and - I won't lie to you folks - it's a bit choppy up there."

'This is your passenger speaking. Where the hell is my coffee?!'

'Stop complaining. We can't afford business class any more.'

Travel Law #135: Those with window seats are the last to arrive.' People climb over other passengers on an airplane.

I brake for Jetliners.

Sometimes they need the oxygen mask after they see the new baggage fees.

"Please remove your shoes, realize you forgot to wear socks, accept your fate, and make peace with your god."

"Yeah, it's a drag, but the only flight I could get was a red-eye."

Two witches at airport waiting with signs: One says 'Dorothy' and the other one says 'And Your Little Dog Too!'

'You want to go somewhere really hot - that can be arranged.'

I was telling him a story of my granddaughter's wedding.

"And this is my niece. She's four. She'd also love to eat you."

'You've got to admire their candor.'

'...Every time he goes on the track we have to notify air traffic control.'

"No one wants a drink, no one wants a snack...I don't know who I am anymore."

'Remember our last cruise The porthole is not a wall safe,'

'Maybe now you'll admit that we're lost!?'

'Welcome to crash-test flight 000. Go ahead and take your seat!'

"Sir, you've been downgraded to the baggage compartment."

Revealing Airport Security

"We get your point about legroom, now please put them back in the cabin"

'What's the best way to get to the nearest Post Office?' 'By Easyjet.'

"Oh yeah, I forgot to ask. 'did you want anything to drink?'"

Smokers smoking outside of a plane.