Aviation Humor Fan Gifts

'When does the rest of the plane get here?'

'...Every time he goes on the track we have to notify air traffic control.'

'Hey, the windows back here don't open! . . . How am I supposed to see if the dog's okay?'

"No one wants a drink, no one wants a snack...I don't know who I am anymore."

Santa knows he has to be more careful. One more accident due to pilot error, and the FAA would take away his pilot's license for good.

'The best part is being able to fly without taking off your shoes.'

"RAF Recruitment Waiting Room."

Cow Pilot.

"There is no air conditioning in the luggage compartment so stand up straight and stop licking your nose!"

'Then, to stop the spread, they burned the village and sent me home.'

'Since you're wearing cargo pants, everything in your pockets is considered cargo and subject to a tariff.'

'Here comes the in-flight meal.'

'Captain, a passenger says there's a gremlin out on the wing of the plane.'

"Can we not fly in a "V"? Victor broke up with me."

'Catching lunch again Steward?'

The Problem with the TSA

'Stealth broom.'

"A sad incident at LaGuardia Airport today as a depressed 757 landed and burst into tears."

"In the event of a water landing, your seat cushions may be used as flotation devices. And, your tray tables may be used to bash sharks."

"I always end up next to the weirdo!"

Two birds refuel.

Travel Law #135: Those with window seats are the last to arrive.' People climb over other passengers on an airplane.

' ... and that's a policy giving you flight insurance covering mid-air bankruptcies.'

The first in-flight meal: "Care for some soup?"

'I always ask for a seat in the tail. You never hear of a plane backing into a mountain...'

'I‘ll be relieved when they invent the aeroplane, these long trips are playing havoc with my wings'.

I brake for Jetliners.

Birds talk about flying...we land in the Hudson all the time - no big deal.

Two witches at airport waiting with signs: One says 'Dorothy' and the other one says 'And Your Little Dog Too!'

'I went to wash the wheels on that European Airbus A380 by myself. I didn't know it had 22 wheels.'

The FS-2004 has a great new add-on!

'Once you're seated and have safely stowed all carry-ons, we'll start the bidding for seat belts.'

"You think you're annoyed? The acoustics in here are terrible!"

What really killed the dinsaurs.

'Your $5 gets your 3 minutes in the lavatory--now how much toilet paper would you like to purchase?'