Aviation Satire Lover Gifts

'So...Now I can get American's loudy service and U.S. airways inept baggage handling all in one convenient airline?'

'Oh great. Our luggage has been sent to Alpha Centauri.'

Santa knows he has to be more careful. One more accident due to pilot error, and the FAA would take away his pilot's license for good.

'The best part is being able to fly without taking off your shoes.'

"RAF Recruitment Waiting Room."

Cow Pilot.

"There is no air conditioning in the luggage compartment so stand up straight and stop licking your nose!"

'Here comes the in-flight meal.'

'Catching lunch again Steward?'

'Stealth broom.'

"Can we not fly in a "V"? Victor broke up with me."

"You have luggage? - Oh, we don't do LUGGAGE any more."

"I only have one suitcase, so what's the problem?"

'Captain, a passenger says there's a gremlin out on the wing of the plane.'

"A sad incident at LaGuardia Airport today as a depressed 757 landed and burst into tears."

Two birds refuel.

"In the event of a water landing, your seat cushions may be used as flotation devices. And, your tray tables may be used to bash sharks."

Travel Law #135: Those with window seats are the last to arrive.' People climb over other passengers on an airplane.

Birds talk about flying...we land in the Hudson all the time - no big deal.

'I‘ll be relieved when they invent the aeroplane, these long trips are playing havoc with my wings'.

I brake for Jetliners.

The first in-flight meal: "Care for some soup?"

'I always ask for a seat in the tail. You never hear of a plane backing into a mountain...'

' ... and that's a policy giving you flight insurance covering mid-air bankruptcies.'

'I went to wash the wheels on that European Airbus A380 by myself. I didn't know it had 22 wheels.'

'Once you're seated and have safely stowed all carry-ons, we'll start the bidding for seat belts.'

"Hey, thanks again for letting me borrow your pen."

'Your $5 gets your 3 minutes in the lavatory--now how much toilet paper would you like to purchase?'

What really killed the dinsaurs.

The FS-2004 has a great new add-on!

I was telling him a story of my granddaughter's wedding.

'You imbecile!! Didn't i tell you to watch our altitude?! / A co-pilot accidentally flies too high ending up in heaven and smacking into an angel

Uh Oh...

"Our flight's been diverted to Frankfurt - but remember, it is better to travel than to arrive."

"It means I don’t give a flying fuck."