Aviation Satire Lover Gifts

'Oh great. Our luggage has been sent to Alpha Centauri.'

Santa knows he has to be more careful. One more accident due to pilot error, and the FAA would take away his pilot's license for good.

'The best part is being able to fly without taking off your shoes.'

"RAF Recruitment Waiting Room."

Cow Pilot.

"There is no air conditioning in the luggage compartment so stand up straight and stop licking your nose!"

'Here comes the in-flight meal.'

'Catching lunch again Steward?'

"You have luggage? - Oh, we don't do LUGGAGE any more."

'Stealth broom.'

'Captain, a passenger says there's a gremlin out on the wing of the plane.'

"I only have one suitcase, so what's the problem?"

"Can we not fly in a "V"? Victor broke up with me."

"A sad incident at LaGuardia Airport today as a depressed 757 landed and burst into tears."

Two birds refuel.

"In the event of a water landing, your seat cushions may be used as flotation devices. And, your tray tables may be used to bash sharks."

Travel Law #135: Those with window seats are the last to arrive.' People climb over other passengers on an airplane.

I brake for Jetliners.

The first in-flight meal: "Care for some soup?"

' ... and that's a policy giving you flight insurance covering mid-air bankruptcies.'

Birds talk about flying...we land in the Hudson all the time - no big deal.

'I‘ll be relieved when they invent the aeroplane, these long trips are playing havoc with my wings'.

'I always ask for a seat in the tail. You never hear of a plane backing into a mountain...'

'I went to wash the wheels on that European Airbus A380 by myself. I didn't know it had 22 wheels.'

'Once you're seated and have safely stowed all carry-ons, we'll start the bidding for seat belts.'

I was telling him a story of my granddaughter's wedding.

What really killed the dinsaurs.

'Your $5 gets your 3 minutes in the lavatory--now how much toilet paper would you like to purchase?'

"Hey, thanks again for letting me borrow your pen."

The FS-2004 has a great new add-on!

'You imbecile!! Didn't i tell you to watch our altitude?! / A co-pilot accidentally flies too high ending up in heaven and smacking into an angel

"Our flight's been diverted to Frankfurt - but remember, it is better to travel than to arrive."

Uh Oh...

'You say that you'd hate to be up there in a plane? I'd hate to be there without one!'

"It means I don’t give a flying fuck."