Airline Antics Enthusiast Gifts

"What already?"

Airport Security.

'Oh great. Our luggage has been sent to Alpha Centauri.'

'I'm not taking that money to buy drugs. I'm taking it to pay bribes if I'm caught with my drugs.'

"Arr, we found your luggage, Captain."

'Are we there yet! Are we there yet! Are we there yet!'

"Old timers are quick to tell me that the drive to Abilene was different in their day."

"It's my helper trout!"

'Hmmph. Here's an ad for affordable housing five minutes from downtown. By what means? Learjet?'

Vampire on a plane

"How's my tripping you up?"

'I am on a diet! It's called the Wall Street diet. I invested in British Airways, and the first day I lost 500 pounds.'

Fume Leaks on aeroplane - 'Perfume? Drinks? Air?'

Welcome to business class. Are you a member of big business or small business?

'He's trying to figure out why airplanes get bigger while seats get smaller.'

'Wayne, your turn - Darren needs changing!'

Flight Crew Lockdown Check List

Going to Work. . .Coming Home

"I know what the airlines charge to check a bag is outrageous, but. . ."

Woman goes to Origami Airport.

'There he goes over the bag limit again!'

Emergency Slide Height Limit.

On the monitors behind the check-in desk: Arrivals/Departures/Donations

'Hello, this is your captain speaking... I'm on the next flight!'

The Headless Horseman claims his luggage.

"And that one shows my frequent flier miles."

"You have luggage? - Oh, we don't do LUGGAGE any more."

"I can't believe they put us in dog class!"

"That's why you're so familiar, we flew together yesterday!"

"Flight time is approximately 3 seconds and - I won't lie to you folks - it's a bit choppy up there."

Excess Baggage: Meanwhile, back at baggage handlers university...

"How many bags to check in, sir?" "Only one piece of hand luggage." (case in the shape of a giraffe).

'Would yo like reading or non-reading?'

"As a frequent flier, you'll be entitled to stay in our airport lounge for up to a week during delays."

Two birds refuel.