Airline Aficionado Gifts

"Height and position? I'm six foot tall and in the pilot's seat."

'We have a problem, Bob! All the passengers back there are on the wrong plane. Even the attendants are on the wrong plane. Hey, wait - you're not Bob.'

On the monitors behind the check-in desk: Arrivals/Departures/Donations

'Would yo like reading or non-reading?'

'He's trying to figure out why airplanes get bigger while seats get smaller.'

Airport phones: Courtesy and Abuse.

"I know what the airlines charge to check a bag is outrageous, but. . ."

Excess Baggage: Meanwhile, back at baggage handlers university...

'With my frequent flyer miles I was able to get a seat upgrade from the luggage compartment.'

"Ladies and gentlemen, please direct your attention to the safety presentation. It's the only way you'll know the difference between the harmless scarlet kingsnake and the deadly Eastern coral snake."

Bob always reads the Passenger Information Card, just to see what it says about him.

Airport

"They loved me, couldn't get enough of me...Europe, Asia, U.S.! Then all of a sudden --WHAM! I'm out on the street...grounded."

"How's my tripping you up?"

'Can you recommend a vacation anywhere via an airline with plenty of legroom?'

"For People Who Enjoy Everything About Flying Except Being 30,000 Feet Up In The Air, There's The WIDE -BODY TRIAN!"

Worried Pilot Looking at Crash Test Dummy Boarding Plane

'Talking or non talking.'

'You're a day late, a dollar short, AND fifteen pounds overweight.'

'There he goes over the bag limit again!'

'The cost of your flight went up because we now include gratuity for parties of seven or more.'

'About these pork sausages. Yes sir, they double as life jackets.'

Excess Baggage: At times the cheapest ticket deals leave a lot to be desired.

"If anyone on board is a rich source of potassium, please press your flight attendant call button."

"Frankly, your kindness and understanding are only making matters worse!"

'What zip code are we in now?'

Airlines

UK border controls relaxed.

Angels await for their baggage around carousels.

Walking Luggage.

"We're airship people, not mega-airship people."

"He built his own airplane from a kit."

"If God had meant us to fly, he'd give us more leg room!"

'What's with the overnight bag, Orville?'

Cat chases mouse across a Zeppelin.