Air Travel Jokester Gifts

'Sorry sir, the 'No Steak and Lobster Jokes' sign just came on.'

Carefree luggage.

Airport Security.

Cow Blue Arrows

'Oh great. Our luggage has been sent to Alpha Centauri.'

"It's my helper trout!"

Vampire on a plane

"I'll put this device onto flight mode when you put this plane onto flight mode."

Sometimes nature not only calls; she makes an emergency breakthrough.

Fume Leaks on aeroplane - 'Perfume? Drinks? Air?'

"O.K., you're good. Next!"

Emergency Slide Height Limit.

'Hello, this is your captain speaking... I'm on the next flight!'

Airline: Arrivals, Departures, Missing Luggage and Missing Planes.

You're Here. Man, You Really Look Like An Idiot!

Man skated through airport with rollers on pull bag.

A signaller directing pallbearers

"Flight time is approximately 3 seconds and - I won't lie to you folks - it's a bit choppy up there."

"I always end up next to the weirdo!"

"It's me. I was going through a 'Bon Jovi Phase.'"

Two birds refuel.

'Those new airport scanners can see through clothes!'

"There it is again, that tapping..."

"Excuse me, I just need to raise my arms and expose my bare stomach within about three-quarters of an inch from your face."

"No, I said, 'You turn here, not, 'U-Turn here'."

"Please remove your shoes, realize you forgot to wear socks, accept your fate, and make peace with your god."

"People are way too casual when they fly these days."

Customs caution: rabid tarantulas with AIDS inside

"You think you're annoyed? The acoustics in here are terrible!"

Excess Baggage: Never let your wife pack for your business trip while she is mad at you.

"In my defense it is an exit and the line was really long..."

"Attention. This is your captain screaming!"

"... Yes, I know there's a hole in your ceiling. Why do you think we're called, the star view motel?"