Air Travel Jokester Gifts

'Sorry sir, the 'No Steak and Lobster Jokes' sign just came on.'

Carefree luggage.

Airport Security.

Cow Blue Arrows

'Oh great. Our luggage has been sent to Alpha Centauri.'

"It's my helper trout!"

Vampire on a plane

"I'll put this device onto flight mode when you put this plane onto flight mode."

Sometimes nature not only calls; she makes an emergency breakthrough.

Fume Leaks on aeroplane - 'Perfume? Drinks? Air?'

'Yep, another set of incisors that are too sharp for security regulations. You'll need to wear a muzzle during the flight, ma'am.'

"O.K., you're good. Next!"

Emergency Slide Height Limit.

To prevent geese from flying toward its planes, Jupiter Airlines made some key design changes,

Airline: Arrivals, Departures, Missing Luggage and Missing Planes.

'Hello, this is your captain speaking... I'm on the next flight!'

A signaller directing pallbearers

Man skated through airport with rollers on pull bag.

You're Here. Man, You Really Look Like An Idiot!

"Flight time is approximately 3 seconds and - I won't lie to you folks - it's a bit choppy up there."

"It's me. I was going through a 'Bon Jovi Phase.'"

"I always end up next to the weirdo!"

Two birds refuel.

"Excuse me, I just need to raise my arms and expose my bare stomach within about three-quarters of an inch from your face."

"No, I said, 'You turn here, not, 'U-Turn here'."

"There it is again, that tapping..."

"People are way too casual when they fly these days."

'Those new airport scanners can see through clothes!'

"Please remove your shoes, realize you forgot to wear socks, accept your fate, and make peace with your god."

Sometimes they need the oxygen mask after they see the new baggage fees.

Customs caution: rabid tarantulas with AIDS inside

"In my defense it is an exit and the line was really long..."

"... Yes, I know there's a hole in your ceiling. Why do you think we're called, the star view motel?"

"You think you're annoyed? The acoustics in here are terrible!"

Pamplona bull instructions - Running with the Idiots.