Zen Biker Gifts

'OK, Now let's see your Downward Dog'.'

"Behold the secret to happiness."

"I want him to have the serenity to accept the things he can't pee on, the patience to pee on the things he can outside, and the wisdom to know the difference." "But I'll probably just take him to a trainer."

Dog yoga

'The sound of one hand clapping.'

'He attained Nirvana in two weeks? - he's GOTTA be using steroids!'

Cats = Zen, Dogs = Men

'Which would be more Zen ? a pizza with nothing, or a pizza with everything?'

Remember, it's about the journey, not the destination. But sure, I'll keep an eye out for a rest area.

Turmoil change.

"Chop wood, carry water, walk dog."

How's my enlightenment? Call 1-800-Nirvana.

When Buddha came to nirvana.

'Do you ever just feel like getting AWAY from it all?'

"She's been in shavasana for - like - a really long time...."

'Now, until you've attained perfect wisdom, you'll have to learn to evade questions.'

''Faith can move mountains'? -- That's actually a little disturbing.'

Enlightened Cursing

2 + 2 = 4. 2 x 2 = 4. Oh, I get it! It's a Zen thing!

Working from OM.

I am one with stupid.

"It's either enlightenment or excruciating boredom."

Ned's Northingness: All the Nothing You Need To Achieve Mindfulness

"Exactly what is this 'nothing' I've been hearing so much about?"

'At least with math and physics you sometimes find the answer.'

Zen Litter Box

"I used to be a young crazy rebel like you you know."

'Frankly I'm all meditated out.'

Transcendental Litigation

Zen Master Huineng

Great. What do I get the man who already HAS nothing? It's a birthday party.

"You’ll get nothingness and like it."

'Lost in the Jungle I found this Buddhist retreat...'

"Psst! I got mantras. You need a mantra? Mantras right here..."

'At least with math and physics you sometimes find the answer.'