Zen Joker Gifts

I am one with stupid.

Early photobombing

'Don't just sit there thinking. Meditate.'

'The sound of one hand clapping.'

'He attained Nirvana in two weeks? - he's GOTTA be using steroids!'

Cats = Zen, Dogs = Men

"I change my mantra every two months so no one can hack my soul."

'Which would be more Zen ? a pizza with nothing, or a pizza with everything?'

'Want to make it two out of three?'

'That's your third bowl of gruel this week! What is this -- a feeding frenzy?'

'I'm 3 years old - that's 21 dog years - so start pouring!'

When Buddha came to nirvana.

'...a variety of local wildlife very close to the campsite.'

'Now, until you've attained perfect wisdom, you'll have to learn to evade questions.'

Revenge had come.

'I'm surprised the boss isn't in here checking up on us!'

"It's either enlightenment or excruciating boredom."

Binary Meditation.

"Exactly what is this 'nothing' I've been hearing so much about?"

Transcendental Litigation

'Looks like a perfectly healthy limb to me.'

"My mental ink pen ran dry.

'Hope you don't mind the boxing gloves. I'm no good at hands.'

"I totally forgot what I came up here for."

The Cartoonists

Outback rat house? Darn ! Wish you guys would've said somethin' sooner. I just ate a hop pocket.

"Cruz! Are you eyeballin’ me? Eyes shut during savasana! You hear me? Lance, get up and give me 10 headstand pushups to help Cruz here shut her eyes."

Zen Master Huineng

'Lost in the Jungle I found this Buddhist retreat...'

"Frankly, counselor, I don't care how stressful this is for your client—tell him to get out of that damn yoga position."

Working from Om

House with 'Dog For Sale' sign. Cat walks by holding 'Good Riddance' sign.

'You sure picked a great place to have kittens.'

"It's called 'White with a hint of Magnolia"

Bigfoot's outhouse