Zen Golfer Gifts

Meditating on a 4th for golf!

Meditating on a 4th for golf!

"Break his third chakra!" "Knock the dharma out of him!"

'You're through around here.. turn in your rubber donut!'

'He attained Nirvana in two weeks? - he's GOTTA be using steroids!'

'The sound of one hand clapping.'

Zenemies.

Yoga.

'I'm going to have an out-of-body experience -- can I bring you anything?'

Annoying neighbours - irritating wind chimes

After years of intense inner work, Bill finally got his life completely in balance. That's when he noticed the new loose thread.

"I change my mantra every two months so no one can hack my soul."

"Haven't you wondered why I live about 50 years longer thank you?"

'Are you not thinking what I'm not thinking?'

'Which would be more Zen ? a pizza with nothing, or a pizza with everything?'

"Hey, no problem. I am one with multiple tasks."

Guru.

'Oh dear! -- Well, look me up if you ever get reincarnated, okay?'

"My feng-shui consultant placed Harold in the closet."

"Show off."

When Buddha came to nirvana.

"I'm trying to achieve total harmony of body, mind, and cash-flow."

'I'm finally at one with the universe...but apparently that doesn't include the DOW.'

"Hoarder."

'I was trying to extinguish my ego, and I got an Out of Memory Error.'

'Do you mean 'who cares what the meaning of life is,' or that 'who cares' IS the meaning of life?'

"So you want for your three wishes...world peace, happiness for friends and family...and the weekend off."

"To mediate properly, you need a mantra. How about 'Ka-Ching'?"

'It's normal -- Enlightenment freaks a lot of people out.'

'OK, be the ball, be the ball, be the ball'

'Please join me now in a group meditation.'

Zenboni

Relax.