Zen Rider Gifts

Don't laugh. It's added three points to his scores.

"Behold the secret to happiness."

'The sound of one hand clapping.'

"I change my mantra every two months so no one can hack my soul."

'Want to make it two out of three?'

Remember, it's about the journey, not the destination. But sure, I'll keep an eye out for a rest area.

Turmoil change.

"Chop wood, carry water, walk dog."

How's my enlightenment? Call 1-800-Nirvana.

"She's been in shavasana for - like - a really long time...."

'Do you ever just feel like getting AWAY from it all?'

2 + 2 = 4. 2 x 2 = 4. Oh, I get it! It's a Zen thing!

''Faith can move mountains'? -- That's actually a little disturbing.'

'Now, until you've attained perfect wisdom, you'll have to learn to evade questions.'

Working from OM.

Ned's Northingness: All the Nothing You Need To Achieve Mindfulness

I am one with stupid.

Binary Meditation.

'Well, you heard wrong -- Zen Buddhism doesn't have a Missouri Synod.'

'At least with math and physics you sometimes find the answer.'

'Frankly I'm all meditated out.'

"I used to be a young crazy rebel like you you know."

Zen Litter Box

Transcendental Litigation

Great. What do I get the man who already HAS nothing? It's a birthday party.

"You’ll get nothingness and like it."

"Enigmas happen. Relax for goodness sake."

"Cruz! Are you eyeballin’ me? Eyes shut during savasana! You hear me? Lance, get up and give me 10 headstand pushups to help Cruz here shut her eyes."

'Lost in the Jungle I found this Buddhist retreat...'

Zen Master Huineng

Zoom Rodeos

'At least with math and physics you sometimes find the answer.'

'Mr Gottlieb recently read one of those books on Japanese management techniques.'

Ignorance and Bliss

He's been like that for hours - I think he's binge meditating.