Zen Rider Mugs

Don't laugh. It's added three points to his scores.

"Behold the secret to happiness."

'The sound of one hand clapping.'

"I change my mantra every two months so no one can hack my soul."

'Want to make it two out of three?'

Turmoil change.

'Do you ever just feel like getting AWAY from it all?'

How's my enlightenment? Call 1-800-Nirvana.

"Chop wood, carry water, walk dog."

"She's been in shavasana for - like - a really long time...."

'Now, until you've attained perfect wisdom, you'll have to learn to evade questions.'

''Faith can move mountains'? -- That's actually a little disturbing.'

Working from OM.

Binary Meditation.

'Well, you heard wrong -- Zen Buddhism doesn't have a Missouri Synod.'

I am one with stupid.

'At least with math and physics you sometimes find the answer.'

Zen Litter Box

"I used to be a young crazy rebel like you you know."

'Frankly I'm all meditated out.'

Transcendental Litigation

"Cruz! Are you eyeballin’ me? Eyes shut during savasana! You hear me? Lance, get up and give me 10 headstand pushups to help Cruz here shut her eyes."

"You’ll get nothingness and like it."

Zoom Rodeos

'At least with math and physics you sometimes find the answer.'

"Enigmas happen. Relax for goodness sake."

Zen Master Huineng

'Lost in the Jungle I found this Buddhist retreat...'

'Mr Gottlieb recently read one of those books on Japanese management techniques.'