Young Mvps Gifts

'My dad won't let me take steroids until I'm seven.'

LEMONADE 50 CENTS, 'I'm only seven years old -- I don't HAVE a credit rating yet!'

'Jimmy Chang gets his allowance in Yuan, and his parents let him buy and sell precious metals...'

"Remember, kids, it's not winning that matters, it's getting a clean urine sample that's important."

'I hate it when they emulate their major league heroes.'

'Stop purring I can't hear your heart beat.'

"The old tricks, young fellow, have served me well."

"There will be a winning team and a losing team. Are you OK with that?"

"Still believe leaders are born not developed?"

'I just wanted to thank you for grounding me to my room for the weekend. I took the time to start a computer programming company, which earned me $13 million.'

"When I grow up, I'm going to be a suit."

"I wish he'd actually play with his toy hospital, rather than just making strike placards."

'Billy! Set your homework aside and get down here. There's another basketball recruiter here to see you.'

'My long-range goal is to turn pro and lead the league in product endorsements.'

"The treasury has hacked into his computer and asked for ideas to solve the deficit"

Lemonade without borders.

"We won again, and guess what? A Russian oligarch wants to buy us!"

'Junior wrote his first memo today!'

'It seems with every year my hot flashes get worse.'

"I'd like a raise, I can't afford to binge drink on what you pay me."

'One day son, all this will be theirs'.'

Sign reading "Bought High; Sold Low."

'No, Billy, their first baseman is messing with your head. You won't go to hell for stealing second.'

Voting on their Seats

"It's a neat idea for a book, Mr. James, but there's way too many big words."

"Don't worry about being in your 40's - before you know it, you'll be in your 50's!"

'There was a lot of excitement at school today — the Student Council voted itself a pay raise.'

'Next time up, I'm calling my shot: I'm pointing to the catcher's mitt.'

"No fair, Shelly, you always get to be the pharmaceutical rep."

'Business has been terrible all right, but I rather think more likely a midlife crisis.'

Giggling during the debate didn't cost you the election. The mile coming out of your nose cost you the election.

'As the head of the benevolent order of superior sisterhood, I'm going to lobby congress to end the scourge of stinky, booger-brained boys and put girls in charge of everything.'

RAF Rapidly Approaching Forty

'Were the lemons grown locally?'

'...If you really loved me, you'd transfer me to a preschool with a winning team.'