Witty Gift Seekers Pillows

House Broken.

"The following programme contains scenes of a very noisy vacuum cleaner."

God putting the finishing touches to the Pug.

All bets are off as Round One begins in the "Dollars versus Donuts" World Championship title fight.

E-vac-u-ate! E-vac-u-ate! . . . I've just farted. . ."

Easter Island Cheeseheads

Ball as water-melon.

Some cars need a backseat steering wheel.

A watch face with Stonehenge

'It's another corporate lawyer...do we want to buy a soul?'

T-Rex Game of Choice - Ping Pong

Where Deviled Eggs come from

Customer entering bank that is touting number of toasters given away

"Waiter, this is the worst meal I've ever tasted. And believe me, I've eaten some crap!"

Three card brag - I'm great! I'm really handsome & I'm very rich.

A baby using a heavy duty drill

"Roadkill cookies"

'The worst thing about it is I'm claustrophobic.'

Santa's Helpers

"Pass that."

International House of Excrement

Regifts of the Magi

Fish mobsters.

Notorious gangsters, Bunny and Clyde.

'If you're out and about today don't forget the pith helmet.'

'Buy two pounds and I'll throw in the sword.'

"What seems to be the problem?"

'...You're just not built to take selfies.'

'Hey! You're not for real, are you man?'

"I've been really craving Italian food for months now. Can you grab me two kilos of rigatoni, three kilos of fettuccini, and a bigger shell? The one I have is feeling a bit too tight lately."

"I asked for a bottle of something that would make men drool over me. This is bourbon."

"I'm glad I don't have to put gas in it. the downside is that it takes a lot of time to put 3,000 AA batteries in it."

"That's $20 for you if you pluck the tail feathers off my rival over there..."

Kid Hints To Santa That He Wants A Bicycle For Christmas

"...And our 'Holiday Scented' candle smells just like credit cards."