Witty Gift Giver Pillows

"We don't need proof of each delivery."

Some cars need a backseat steering wheel.

'I've got one of those wobbly forwards trolleys!'

"You wouldn't believe how much it costs to feed eight tiny reindeer."

"But he had a mask and I thought he was a burglar."

Christmas Presents.

Three card brag - I'm great! I'm really handsome & I'm very rich.

"Shouldn't have, you really."

"Remember when we talked about how you send mixed messages. . ."

'The worst thing about it is I'm claustrophobic.'

'I gotta bad feeling about this.'

"Great news! Jim at work's promised to lend me all his World Cup DVDs"

How the gift registry should really work

Bagel problems.

'I'd be more impressed that you bought me flowers if you didn't take a job as a delivery boy to get the employee discount.'

'That pretty much kills my appendicitis diagnosis.'

'I handed over my company to my son and he's doing better than I ever did. Unfortunately he's starting school next year...'

House Broken.

The Penultimate Temptation of Christ

Sudoku toilet paper

"You don't think rum-filled centers would give his officers the wrong impression?"

Fast Food Menus

'He's not leaving, but if we collect enough, he might.'

"And if anything goes wrong I'd like to donate my body to comedy."

The gift of a family Christmas

"A birthday gift card? Really?"

'The mice gave me this present. Lovely gesture.'

"I hope you've come home with something for your wind."

'He must be the real Santa... He was the only sober guy at the Xmas party!'

"Baby's First Book of Retirement Planning...?"

Roo felt a little cheated with his new Christmas present.

"How much of a gratuity does Santa usually get?"

Christmas postie!

She collected ceramic pigs. Only one so far, but even that was one too many.

"What?! You wanted an Easter egg, and this is one!"