Witty Gift Hunter Pillows

'The worst thing about it is I'm claustrophobic.'

'Ugh Look The whole garden is just one giant cat toilet'

"Sorry lad, ye can't be having' me pot o' toilet paper."

Some cars need a backseat steering wheel.

T-Rex Game of Choice - Ping Pong

Three card brag - I'm great! I'm really handsome & I'm very rich.

"They certainly are jolly creatures aren't they?"

"I've been really craving Italian food for months now. Can you grab me two kilos of rigatoni, three kilos of fettuccini, and a bigger shell? The one I have is feeling a bit too tight lately."

Kid Hints To Santa That He Wants A Bicycle For Christmas

"I'll fill it with Play Doh and no one will ever know the difference."

Football heads...

Traffic calming ahead.

'My whole life, I've felt like I've been running from something...'

Survival kit

"... Er, Houston... It would appear that there is life on Mars, after all!"

"Yeah, I'm out on bail: The judge laughed when he said I was not a flight risk..."

"I can't afford to feed you."

House Broken.

'I handed over my company to my son and he's doing better than I ever did. Unfortunately he's starting school next year...'

'I've got one of those wobbly forwards trolleys!'

Pavlov's Dog at Christmas time...

Lost and Found - 'Nothing yet.' (Zebra has lots its stripes).

Sudoku toilet paper

Rainy day despondency phobia: 'Poor George can't stand the pitter-patter of rain on his shell.'

Tinder

'Mom and Dad, like when did you first text that you loved each other?'

"Save the thong. I'd like to floss afterwards."

'It's time you booked yourself into rehab!'

Dogs with alcohol collars.

"That does it, I'm getting a snow blower!"

'I don't know about you but I spend a fortune on shoes.'

Evil Pusskins #9

"Money or your beard!"

Unsuccessful Christmas novelty items. Blitzen on a Kitten. Angel on a Bagel. Frosty on a coffee. Claus on your Bras.

"But I actually wanted something specific...!"