Witty Gift Lover Pillows

'I handed over my company to my son and he's doing better than I ever did. Unfortunately he's starting school next year...'

"It's a HO.. HO.. HOLD-UP!"

Doctor.

"I hope you've come home with something for your wind."

'Here you go, kid! A worm.'

"All natural snow cones for sale."

'So where do you think pineapple juice comes from?'

'They help with my nicotine patch addiction.'

A golden Big Boy holding a plate of poop

Excess Baggage: Some people take getting away from it all very seriously.

"It's my home grown quail call. Quail don't come when I blow it, but cows sure do."

You don't need to believe EVERYTHING you are told.

'We have three minutes left.'

King Kongs first christmas

Some cars need a backseat steering wheel.

'Your 'bad' cholesterol levels are right off the chart.'

Diner

Fly fishing.

Whittling a forget-me-not moose for the one you adore...

High speed cinder block

Three card brag - I'm great! I'm really handsome & I'm very rich.

"Oh, Oh, Oooohh!"

'Will you be wanting this?'

'It's too cheap, can I haggle you up?'

Bio-Engineered Fruit of the Month Club

'The worst thing about it is I'm claustrophobic.'

'Your deceased husband keeps saying: don't call him. He'll call you.'

'I can't believe an Alligator stole my identity... I mean, it's quite obvious I'm a Crocodile!'

"I'm not going to do any work...cos it's my birthday!"

'Have there been any side effects from the medicine?'

Ball Pool Peril

Luigi's Career Change From Pizza Shop Owner to Masseuse Goes Smoothly...

"There were some squiggly bits left over after the operation, so we gave you a doggie bag."

"I realize you don't want to miss that important business call next week, but setting your alarm to go off every 10 minutes until then is getting really annoying."

"It's not so bad! But I DO have to sleep on my side. . .2