Witty Gift Lover Pillows

'I handed over my company to my son and he's doing better than I ever did. Unfortunately he's starting school next year...'

"It's a HO.. HO.. HOLD-UP!"

Doctor.

"I hope you've come home with something for your wind."

'Here you go, kid! A worm.'

"All natural snow cones for sale."

'So where do you think pineapple juice comes from?'

A golden Big Boy holding a plate of poop

'They help with my nicotine patch addiction.'

Excess Baggage: Some people take getting away from it all very seriously.

'We have three minutes left.'

King Kongs first christmas

You don't need to believe EVERYTHING you are told.

Some cars need a backseat steering wheel.

"It's my home grown quail call. Quail don't come when I blow it, but cows sure do."

'Your 'bad' cholesterol levels are right off the chart.'

Diner

Whittling a forget-me-not moose for the one you adore...

Fly fishing.

Pull my finger! Zombie Humor.

High speed cinder block

Three card brag - I'm great! I'm really handsome & I'm very rich.

'Will you be wanting this?'

"Oh, Oh, Oooohh!"

'Your deceased husband keeps saying: don't call him. He'll call you.'

Bio-Engineered Fruit of the Month Club

'The worst thing about it is I'm claustrophobic.'

'What do you mean these aren't donut holes'

'It's too cheap, can I haggle you up?'

'I can't believe an Alligator stole my identity... I mean, it's quite obvious I'm a Crocodile!'

'Have there been any side effects from the medicine?'

"I'm not going to do any work...cos it's my birthday!"

"Happy Birthday - I saw this and thought of you."

Ball Pool Peril

Beware of Everything