Humorous Gift Lover Pillows

'I don't know. I heard you have to be careful getting stuff online.'

"That does it, I'm getting a snow blower!"

'Quick nurse, this patient needs a double dose!'

Nail Bar

Scientist using his microscope to thread a needle to repair his torn shirt.

'Thank you for believing in me.'

"Why do you hang onto this old car?"

'I don't know about you but I spend a fortune on shoes.'

"Ralph is proud of his urinal collection."

'Ugh Look The whole garden is just one giant cat toilet'

'Your 'bad' cholesterol levels are right off the chart.'

'Ya gotta love the way this farmer gets into Halloween spirit.'

"It is my place!"

"I think you've overfed the plant!"

Traffic calming ahead.

Cat on Computer Keyboard.

"Ma'am, do you realize how fast you were... going?"

'A free goldfish with every house you buy!'

'I handed over my company to my son and he's doing better than I ever did. Unfortunately he's starting school next year...'

"Every Sunday, the same thing: we watch the ducks from Bow Bridge, I think about pushing you in, and then we go to that stupid Mexican place."

"I'm going to have to ask you to accompany me to the Police Station!"

Hissy-fits for sale.

Tinder

'Mom and Dad, like when did you first text that you loved each other?'

'You're not from around here, are you?'

'He's not leaving, but if we collect enough, he might.'

'I'm sorry, buddy, but I ran out of bandicoots around Belgium.'

Tunnel of Dove.

"The 10th anniversary gift is tin. I got Ralph a new tinfoil hat. He's more sedate with the extra channels."

Chilli Quartet

About Santa 2017.

"Don't you ever miss the hustle and bustle of the old tar pits?"

Dogs with alcohol collars.

Beer Belly/Vodka Elbow

Father Goldfish: 'One day Son, this will all be yours.'