Devilishly Funny Gift Lover Pillows

'Your 'bad' cholesterol levels are right off the chart.'

'Ya gotta love the way this farmer gets into Halloween spirit.'

"It is my place!"

"Great news! Jim at work's promised to lend me all his World Cup DVDs"

Bernice Mountain Dog

"I think you've overfed the plant!"

Cat on Computer Keyboard.

Joke Shop product - Not Funny After 10 Sept 87

'A free goldfish with every house you buy!'

"I'm going to have to ask you to accompany me to the Police Station!"

"Every Sunday, the same thing: we watch the ducks from Bow Bridge, I think about pushing you in, and then we go to that stupid Mexican place."

Hissy-fits for sale.

'You're not from around here, are you?'

"Don't you ever miss the hustle and bustle of the old tar pits?"

"The 10th anniversary gift is tin. I got Ralph a new tinfoil hat. He's more sedate with the extra channels."

Tunnel of Dove.

About Santa 2017.

'I don't know about you but I spend a fortune on shoes.'

Jill was thrilled to receive a gift from Interflora, the romantic margarine delivery service.

'I'm sorry, buddy, but I ran out of bandicoots around Belgium.'

Beer Belly/Vodka Elbow

"That does it, I'm getting a snow blower!"

Father Goldfish: 'One day Son, this will all be yours.'

The Next Product For Boomers: Designer Adult Diapers.

Scientist using his microscope to thread a needle to repair his torn shirt.

Nail Bar

'And you get this free.'

"That rat trap you sold me is no good. My husband hasn't been near it!"

"It's four pounds a night, and one hour treadmill time..."

When I said, Do you want to go out> I meant to pee, not on a date.

Crap Stuff Shop.

"X-ray glasses. They don't work."

An old man with a ball and chain attached to his zimmer frame

"You do realize she's not your real mother."

Extra wheelie bin for cats.