Satirical Gift Lover Pillows

'Here's a splendid cake sent in by a Mr Mugabe of Harare.'

"The 10th anniversary gift is tin. I got Ralph a new tinfoil hat. He's more sedate with the extra channels."

King Kongs first christmas

'Your 'bad' cholesterol levels are right off the chart.'

'Ya gotta love the way this farmer gets into Halloween spirit.'

"I'm not going to do any work...cos it's my birthday!"

"I think you've overfed the plant!"

Traffic calming ahead.

"If you want to talk to someone uninterested, press 1..."

Cat on Computer Keyboard.

Joke Shop product - Not Funny After 10 Sept 87

'A free goldfish with every house you buy!'

'That pretty much kills my appendicitis diagnosis.'

'I handed over my company to my son and he's doing better than I ever did. Unfortunately he's starting school next year...'

Hissy-fits for sale.

"I'm going to have to ask you to accompany me to the Police Station!"

"Every Sunday, the same thing: we watch the ducks from Bow Bridge, I think about pushing you in, and then we go to that stupid Mexican place."

Tinder

Visit Santa today...sponsored by Acme Razor Company

'Bag? Any vouchers? Like a packer? If you have two of those... What type of apples are these?'

'You're not from around here, are you?'

Chilli Quartet

'I don't know about you but I spend a fortune on shoes.'

'I'm sorry, buddy, but I ran out of bandicoots around Belgium.'

"Don't you ever miss the hustle and bustle of the old tar pits?"

About Santa 2017.

Beer Belly/Vodka Elbow

Tunnel of Dove.

"That does it, I'm getting a snow blower!"

Rudolph Red Light District

"We still don't have a diagnosis for your rash, so we're going to run some more money on it and see what happens."

Father Goldfish: 'One day Son, this will all be yours.'

"I hope you've come home with something for your wind."

"Don't worry. Very soon you'll be back to what passes as normal for you."

Scientist using his microscope to thread a needle to repair his torn shirt.