Joke Gift Lover Pillows

'Go ahead you can use that.'

'Your 'bad' cholesterol levels are right off the chart.'

'Ya gotta love the way this farmer gets into Halloween spirit.'

"It is my place!"

"I think you've overfed the plant!"

Cat on Computer Keyboard.

"Ma'am, do you realize how fast you were... going?"

"For the missus or yourself?"

'A free goldfish with every house you buy!'

"Every Sunday, the same thing: we watch the ducks from Bow Bridge, I think about pushing you in, and then we go to that stupid Mexican place."

"I'm going to have to ask you to accompany me to the Police Station!"

Hissy-fits for sale.

'He's not leaving, but if we collect enough, he might.'

'You're not from around here, are you?'

'I assume that's a rhetorical question.'

Tunnel of Dove.

"That does it, I'm getting a snow blower!"

Chilli Quartet

'I don't know about you but I spend a fortune on shoes.'

Beer Belly/Vodka Elbow

"The 10th anniversary gift is tin. I got Ralph a new tinfoil hat. He's more sedate with the extra channels."

'I'm sorry, buddy, but I ran out of bandicoots around Belgium.'

"Don't you ever miss the hustle and bustle of the old tar pits?"

Father Goldfish: 'One day Son, this will all be yours.'

Scientist using his microscope to thread a needle to repair his torn shirt.

"I sense a change in the weather! So I bought you this..."

Nail Bar

'And you get this free.'

The Next Product For Boomers: Designer Adult Diapers.

"It's four pounds a night, and one hour treadmill time..."

"That rat trap you sold me is no good. My husband hasn't been near it!"

"You do realize she's not your real mother."

'First time fly fishing?'

Extra wheelie bin for cats.

Crap Stuff Shop.