Joke Gift Lover Pillows

'Go ahead you can use that.'

'Your 'bad' cholesterol levels are right off the chart.'

'Ya gotta love the way this farmer gets into Halloween spirit.'

"It is my place!"

"I think you've overfed the plant!"

Cat on Computer Keyboard.

"For the missus or yourself?"

"Ma'am, do you realize how fast you were... going?"

'A free goldfish with every house you buy!'

"Every Sunday, the same thing: we watch the ducks from Bow Bridge, I think about pushing you in, and then we go to that stupid Mexican place."

Hissy-fits for sale.

"I'm going to have to ask you to accompany me to the Police Station!"

'He's not leaving, but if we collect enough, he might.'

'I assume that's a rhetorical question.'

'You're not from around here, are you?'

'I'm sorry, buddy, but I ran out of bandicoots around Belgium.'

'I don't know about you but I spend a fortune on shoes.'

Beer Belly/Vodka Elbow

Tunnel of Dove.

"That does it, I'm getting a snow blower!"

Chilli Quartet

"The 10th anniversary gift is tin. I got Ralph a new tinfoil hat. He's more sedate with the extra channels."

"Don't you ever miss the hustle and bustle of the old tar pits?"

Father Goldfish: 'One day Son, this will all be yours.'

'And you get this free.'

"I sense a change in the weather! So I bought you this..."

Nail Bar

Scientist using his microscope to thread a needle to repair his torn shirt.

The Next Product For Boomers: Designer Adult Diapers.

"That rat trap you sold me is no good. My husband hasn't been near it!"

"It's four pounds a night, and one hour treadmill time..."

What are you doing? - 'I've set up an e-commerce site.' - 'What are you selling?' - 'Signed copies of my old boxer shorts.' - 'Washed £7. Unwashed £23.' - 'Yeah, baby. Market forces.' -

'First time fly fishing?'

Crap Stuff Shop.

"I may have to give up this business. The gift taxes are killing me!"