Whiskey Wit Gifts

"And finally, I'd like to thank all the little people I met on my way to the bar."

"Think of it as twenty one in human years. I'll take a bourbon and toilet water."

Snowprov

"OK. . .stain, aspirin, water tablet, B12 vitamin, and whisky."

'Eight years old, huh? If it's so good, why didn't somebody drink it eight years ago?'

"I'm afraid our drinking water isn't pure."

Bernstein's got himself a driverless club

Trump Poutine

"Jack Daniels-in-a-box"

God taking iceburgs with ice tongs for his whisky.

"Grapes, Rye, Malt... I got into this through my vegetarianism."

'I'm sorry, we don't serve spirits.'

Snowman of the Apes

"A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single malt."

"Have you seen that sweater that you crocheted for me?"

The Frankenstein snowman.

'It's a little varietal I bottle myself...Type A positive.'

'Not only was the superbug immune to antibiotics, but it had developed a taste for Dr Jones' whisky.'

Whiskey wars

"I may be an aged whiskey, but inside I still feel like a fresh ear of corn!"

Knitted Kitty.

'Whiskey and splash, sir.'

"We'd like to do a song that will barely penetrate your consciousness as you continue to enjoy those faddish cigars and single-malt scotches."

Blue Blazer Cocktail.

I want to be a more interesting person. Think maybe watching old black and white movies would do it? No. What if I drank scotch and smoked a cigar and listened to vinyl records and grew a big lumberjack beard? It's what all the hipsters are doing. You're not a hipster. I'm at least a kneester. At most you're a keister.

"Is that neat whisky?"

Gentleman's Club Scene

Undertaker with 'light', 'done', and 'RIP' settings on his toaster.

'That's a tough question. I suppose I should be served with a dry red.'

Beethoven's 1st, 2nd, 3rd, 4th and Fifth.

'We have developed an APP we use to import ingredients from the Internet, merge them in the computer, and then download them into the distiller and then just bottle the output.'

Scotch and soda on a drip.

"What would you serve with toast?"

'Water is a valuable good and we should use it sparingly. That's why I'd like my Scotch straight.'

"May I see some ID, Madame? Haha, just kidding!"