Whiskey Appreciation Gifts

'Whiskey and splash, sir.'

"Think of it as twenty one in human years. I'll take a bourbon and toilet water."

"OK. . .stain, aspirin, water tablet, B12 vitamin, and whisky."

Join me in a Martini?

'The way I see it, sobriety is a preventable, condition.'

"I'm afraid our drinking water isn't pure."

Bernstein's got himself a driverless club

'If you're having trouble finding what you want, try our other store--'Cabernet Sauvignons Starting with the Letter B'.'

Trump Poutine

God taking iceburgs with ice tongs for his whisky.

"Is Pinot Noir where you want to be?"

"Grapes, Rye, Malt... I got into this through my vegetarianism."

"Jack Daniels-in-a-box"

"Got any bathtub gin?"

"Can you recommend a wine that would compliment a divorce?"

Man with wine glass face looks unhappy.

'Well, if nothing else, Brad, your wine selection does prove you have a sense of humor.'

"A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single malt."

'Your switching to Scotch? And after I've given you the best beers of my life!'

'C'mon! Speed it up! I've got a bottle of wine here that says it's meant to be drunk soon!'

"I'm sure you've heard of foodies - he's a drinkie."

'Been toying with Bordeaux futures again, have we?'

'It has to breathe for exactly 22 minutes; then I can pour you a glass - right after the sacrifice.'

'Not only was the superbug immune to antibiotics, but it had developed a taste for Dr Jones' whisky.'

Whiskey wars

"Nice try, but I don't think whisky counts as an 'essential medication'."

"I asked for a bottle of something that would make men drool over me. This is bourbon."

"I may be an aged whiskey, but inside I still feel like a fresh ear of corn!"

3 Pointless Things To Do At Christmas: Add a little festivity to your favourite fast food/Look up an old friend/Murder the Scotch.

'I drank 10 pints of rum.'

"Drinking improves my vodkabulary."

"We'd like to do a song that will barely penetrate your consciousness as you continue to enjoy those faddish cigars and single-malt scotches."

Milton wonders if it would be possible to substitute scotch and sex for tea and sympathy.

'I feel cosmopolitan tonight, Joe - Give me a scotch with an irish Chaser.'

Wine Talking