Whiskey Aficionado Gifts

"Long-term, I like bonds; intermediate-term I like equities; and short-term, I like scotch."

"Scotch."

'Take with water, take with food. Don't we have one that says take with bourbon?'

Scotch and soda on a drip.

"I'm afraid our drinking water isn't pure."

'It's a twelve year old whiskey.' (I want more pocket moneyI'm boredI hate you.)

'Here is my school report - and here is a whiskey!'

An injured man requesting irish whiskey to treat his wounds

"Forget coffees, bring in seven stiff whiskies."

'I'm very sorry, sir. Even for stressed out bankers, whiskey and gin aren't tax-deductible expenses.'

Somewhere in Scotland, this very day...'Are yoo lookin' a me?'

Keep your Slate Clean and Amnesia Away.

Ethics Committee Meeting Today, BYOB.

'My mother WARNED me not to marry a Bourbon!'

'A couple shots of whiskey and the numbers don't look so bad any more.'

'Wake up, Joe - you know I never touch that brand.'

Trump Poutine

"What kind of coffee is this?"

"A shot of under-the-counter 'Moonshine' for you, Prime Minister?"

"Domestication has seemed to completely pass him by."

Whiskey Bottle - Well it doesn't look like a paperweight to me.

'20 year old Scotch?' 'No, I drink drink anything older than me .'

Inland Revenue, Area 4 - Which would you prefer, Prozac or a stiff whiskey?

'Sir, would you like some 20 year old Scotch?' - 'No thanks, I never drink anything older than I am.'

"You've just written every country song."

'My mother WARNED me not to marry a Bourbon!'

"I'll have a Maker's Mark, and she'll have a shot at being the mother she never was."

"Hey, who wants to hear a great single-malt story."

"This is Norman's little bureau of alcohol, tobacco, and firearms."

'We like the occasional drink on the patio.'

'No ice.'

"OK. . .stain, aspirin, water tablet, B12 vitamin, and whisky."

'Well, gotta get up early and start drinking again.'

'No standing while room is in motion.'

Join me in a Martini?