Whisky Enthusiast Gifts

"Scotch and toilet water?"

Single malt whisky bottle reading lonely hearts column.

Monarch of the Glenmorangie

"It's a generic present Doctor - it isn't a brand name, but it is whisky."

'Bourbon, rocks.'

'Not only was the superbug immune to antibiotics, but it had developed a taste for Dr Jones' whisky.'

'Which would you like, apple or orange juice?'

"OK. . .stain, aspirin, water tablet, B12 vitamin, and whisky."

Clancy Strip: Remedies for a Cold

'Give me a whisky without ice, we should all do our bit.'

'You need to drink more water, Mr. Cameron.' 'AND RUIN MY WHISKY?!'

"Wine? Laddie, he'll have my attention when he can change water into Scotch!"

Someone should tell him that being Churchillian involves more than an 8' Havana and a bottle of whisky.

"Nice try, but I don't think whisky counts as an 'essential medication'."

Scotch Whisky Torture

'Honestly,doctor, only one inch of whisky'

'I have two colds. I'm taking aspirin for one, and hot tea with whisky for the other.'

"Is that neat whisky?"

"I've invested all my resources into whisky. I mean, where else could you get 43%?"

"In an effort to conserve water... I've stopped having it in my whisky."

"There is far too little operating fluid here, the red warning light is already coming on! Quick, get some Scotch!"

You can kiss me later

"I'm on the whisky diet - I've lost 3 days already..."

'Sorry the Scotch on the rocks is all rocks but I gave my Cyril the last of the Whisky!'

"For the perfect sedative, take the juice from a bottle of whisky..."

'Well, yes, I suppose that in a manner of speaking, a case of Scotch whisky WOULD improve your home.'

'Marriage, on the rocks.'

'That contains my late husband's ashes - in the most fitting urn I could find!'

'I feel cosmopolitan tonight, Joe - Give me a scotch with an irish Chaser.'

'And don't forget if we have a fire the Scotch is in this one.'

'I'm on a whisky diet... I've lost three days already!'

'With my luck I can't expect to win after ONE attempt!'

'If it's as good as they claim how is it you take so long to sell it?'

'That's a shocker,Ted-the cost of living gone up 40 pence a bottle!'

'The say 'Love makes the world go round'. Whisky has the same effect on me!'