Whiskey Appreciation Pillows

'Whiskey and splash, sir.'

"Think of it as twenty one in human years. I'll take a bourbon and toilet water."

"OK. . .stain, aspirin, water tablet, B12 vitamin, and whisky."

'The way I see it, sobriety is a preventable, condition.'

Join me in a Martini?

"I'm afraid our drinking water isn't pure."

Trump Poutine

'If you're having trouble finding what you want, try our other store--'Cabernet Sauvignons Starting with the Letter B'.'

Bernstein's got himself a driverless club

"Grapes, Rye, Malt... I got into this through my vegetarianism."

"Jack Daniels-in-a-box"

"Is Pinot Noir where you want to be?"

God taking iceburgs with ice tongs for his whisky.

"Got any bathtub gin?"

Man with wine glass face looks unhappy.

'Well, if nothing else, Brad, your wine selection does prove you have a sense of humor.'

'Your switching to Scotch? And after I've given you the best beers of my life!'

"A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single malt."

'C'mon! Speed it up! I've got a bottle of wine here that says it's meant to be drunk soon!'

"I'm sure you've heard of foodies - he's a drinkie."

'It has to breathe for exactly 22 minutes; then I can pour you a glass - right after the sacrifice.'

'Been toying with Bordeaux futures again, have we?'

'Not only was the superbug immune to antibiotics, but it had developed a taste for Dr Jones' whisky.'

Whiskey wars

'I drank 10 pints of rum.'

"Whiskey...Leave the bottle."

Wine Talking

Milton wonders if it would be possible to substitute scotch and sex for tea and sympathy.

"Drinking improves my vodkabulary."

3 Pointless Things To Do At Christmas: Add a little festivity to your favourite fast food/Look up an old friend/Murder the Scotch.

"We'd like to do a song that will barely penetrate your consciousness as you continue to enjoy those faddish cigars and single-malt scotches."

Which Hogwarts house are you?

"Hey, who wants to hear a great single-malt story."