Whiskey Pillows

"Please, John, not the cheap Scotch. My body is a temple."

"Scotch."

'We have developed an APP we use to import ingredients from the Internet, merge them in the computer, and then download them into the distiller and then just bottle the output.'

Scotch and soda on a drip.

"I'm afraid our drinking water isn't pure."

"The store was out of scotch, so I brought you some butterscotch"

'What, no Johnnie Walker Black?'

Whiskey wars

An injured man requesting irish whiskey to treat his wounds

This whisky is 20 years old!

'I've become resistant to antibiotics, but what I dread is a shot of whisky in a cup of hot tea.'

'Here is my school report - and here is a whiskey!'

"A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single malt."

"Why are you giving them whiskey?"

'I don't care how many drinks you buy me - next season I'm gonna get you.'

'...and limit your whiskey intake to snake bites.'

'It's true that whiskey improves with age: the older I get, the more I like it.'

"Say when!"

Glen Buggerit.

"I make sure I age my whiskey."

Revenuers will be shot.

"Say - this electronic bourbon isn't bad."

'Make it a double and make it neat: I'm trying to cut back on flouride.'

"I'm prescribing your husband a double dose of malt whiskey, to be taken twice every evening."

Trump Poutine

"Cheers, Kid!"

"What kind of coffee is this?"

"Typical! One sip and he slips out for a shootout!"

"A whiskey on the rocks with a straw!"

"Hail to thee, blithe spirit!"

Distilleries Association

"A MacArthur, the lecture circuit, and thou!"

"He's been doing worlds better since we switched him from saline to single malt."

"I'm re-balancing my portfolio to 10% bonds, 90% scotch."

"Sir, please- you're crying into a 12 year old single malt whiskey."