Whiskey Enthusiast Pillows

"Please, John, not the cheap Scotch. My body is a temple."

"Shall we join the ladies?"

"The Bells, The Bells."

'Whenever I get a cold I buy a bottle of whiskey, and within an hour it's completely gone.'

Common stock, Preferred stock, Private stock.

'What'll it be, cowboy?'

"The store was out of scotch, so I brought you some butterscotch"

"That's me Uncle Magee. He's half Irish, half scotch."

'Hoots-Mon... with a wee dram at these prices I'll never get tipsy!'

This whisky is 20 years old!

"This 12-year-old malt...it's very small for it's age!"

Manic Peat Screechers

INCONGRUITY

A Question of Taste.

A drunk hairdresser

Ham on Rye

T'was the night before Christmas, and all through the house, not a creature was stirring, it was straight shots all the way.

Scotch with Mother.

"Darling, you always know what I like for Valentine's Day... A Ballantine's card."

"Hail to thee, blithe spirit!"

"Yes, I'm the Cowardly Lion, and I want a double shot of single malt courage for the Yellow Brick Road."

"He's been feeling much better since we switched from saline to bourbon."

"Thank you. . . And now to your Health, sir!"

The Angel's Share

"No, nobody's handed in a delicious bottle of malt whiskey."

'It's true that whiskey improves with age: the older I get, the more I like it.'

"If the energy drink isn't working, try scotch."

'Your wife tells me she thinks you may have a drinking problem.'

'...and limit your whiskey intake to snake bites.'

Floyd Landis: I would have preferred a good bottle of whiskey.

'I don't care how many drinks you buy me - next season I'm gonna get you.'

'I don't believe it - he's forgot the soda again!!'

Milton wonders if it would be possible to substitute scotch and sex for tea and sympathy.

'Just a glass of water with a treble whiskey mixer. . .'

"You've been reported for flaunting social distancing rules. . ."