Whiskey Sampling Pillows

INCONGRUITY

"Think of it as twenty one in human years. I'll take a bourbon and toilet water."

"Christmas drinks 'n' nibbles system"

"OK. . .stain, aspirin, water tablet, B12 vitamin, and whisky."

Join me in a Martini?

"I'm afraid our drinking water isn't pure."

Bernstein's got himself a driverless club

Trump Poutine

God taking iceburgs with ice tongs for his whisky.

"Grapes, Rye, Malt... I got into this through my vegetarianism."

"Jack Daniels-in-a-box"

'Your switching to Scotch? And after I've given you the best beers of my life!'

"A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single malt."

'Not only was the superbug immune to antibiotics, but it had developed a taste for Dr Jones' whisky.'

Whiskey wars

"Nice try, but I don't think whisky counts as an 'essential medication'."

"Whiskey...Leave the bottle."

Milton wonders if it would be possible to substitute scotch and sex for tea and sympathy.

Which Hogwarts house are you?

"We'd like to do a song that will barely penetrate your consciousness as you continue to enjoy those faddish cigars and single-malt scotches."

"I may be an aged whiskey, but inside I still feel like a fresh ear of corn!"

"Hey, who wants to hear a great single-malt story."

"I asked for a bottle of something that would make men drool over me. This is bourbon."

'I told her my biological clock was going off, and she hit my snooze alarm.'

'I feel cosmopolitan tonight, Joe - Give me a scotch with an irish Chaser.'

'Whiskey and splash, sir.'

The Babe calls his shot.

'If you don't start feeling better in 24 hours, pour yourself a tall scotch.'

"Is that neat whisky?"

'This low-alcohol beer doesn't taste bad with a scotch in it.'

"For the perfect sedative, take the juice from a bottle of whisky..."

'I'm very sorry, sir. Even for stressed out bankers, whiskey and gin aren't tax-deductible expenses.'

I want to be a more interesting person. Think maybe watching old black and white movies would do it? No. What if I drank scotch and smoked a cigar and listened to vinyl records and grew a big lumberjack beard? It's what all the hipsters are doing. You're not a hipster. I'm at least a kneester. At most you're a keister.

Whiskey Bottle - Well it doesn't look like a paperweight to me.

The Angel's Share