Whisky Tasting Pillows

'Which' Consumer Testing Whiskies

'I feel cosmopolitan tonight, Joe - Give me a scotch with an irish Chaser.'

Hell's Bells Whisky

'I have two colds. I'm taking aspirin for one, and hot tea with whisky for the other.'

"A large scotch, please - I can't go back to the office with wine on my breath."

"Think of it as twenty one in human years. I'll take a bourbon and toilet water."

"OK. . .stain, aspirin, water tablet, B12 vitamin, and whisky."

Join me in a Martini?

"I'm afraid our drinking water isn't pure."

Bernstein's got himself a driverless club

Trump Poutine

'Of course I'm out of touch with reality. That's what I came here for.'

"Grapes, Rye, Malt... I got into this through my vegetarianism."

"Jack Daniels-in-a-box"

God taking iceburgs with ice tongs for his whisky.

Woman thinking about luxuries.

"It's going to be huge! Cheese-flavored vodka!"

"A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single malt."

'Your switching to Scotch? And after I've given you the best beers of my life!'

"I'm sure you've heard of foodies - he's a drinkie."

'What happened to your hand.'

'Not only was the superbug immune to antibiotics, but it had developed a taste for Dr Jones' whisky.'

Whiskey wars

"Nice try, but I don't think whisky counts as an 'essential medication'."

Milton wonders if it would be possible to substitute scotch and sex for tea and sympathy.

"I may be an aged whiskey, but inside I still feel like a fresh ear of corn!"

3 Pointless Things To Do At Christmas: Add a little festivity to your favourite fast food/Look up an old friend/Murder the Scotch.

"As it happens, we don't produce any beer flavored wine."

"We finally made it - Switzerland!"

"Whiskey...Leave the bottle."

'Whiskey and splash, sir.'

"We'd like to do a song that will barely penetrate your consciousness as you continue to enjoy those faddish cigars and single-malt scotches."

"It doesn't matter if the glass is half empty or half full if you have a case."

'Ah, 'man's best friend' and it's brought by a dog.'

"Don't feel bad. The rest of us can't hold our liquor either."