Whisky Tasting Gifts

'Which' Consumer Testing Whiskies

'I feel cosmopolitan tonight, Joe - Give me a scotch with an irish Chaser.'

Hell's Bells Whisky

'I have two colds. I'm taking aspirin for one, and hot tea with whisky for the other.'

"A large scotch, please - I can't go back to the office with wine on my breath."

"Think of it as twenty one in human years. I'll take a bourbon and toilet water."

"OK. . .stain, aspirin, water tablet, B12 vitamin, and whisky."

Join me in a Martini?

"I'm afraid our drinking water isn't pure."

Trump Poutine

Bernstein's got himself a driverless club

'Of course I'm out of touch with reality. That's what I came here for.'

"Grapes, Rye, Malt... I got into this through my vegetarianism."

God taking iceburgs with ice tongs for his whisky.

"Jack Daniels-in-a-box"

Woman thinking about luxuries.

"It's going to be huge! Cheese-flavored vodka!"

'Your switching to Scotch? And after I've given you the best beers of my life!'

"A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single malt."

"I'm sure you've heard of foodies - he's a drinkie."

'What happened to your hand.'

'Not only was the superbug immune to antibiotics, but it had developed a taste for Dr Jones' whisky.'

Whiskey wars

"I may be an aged whiskey, but inside I still feel like a fresh ear of corn!"

"Whiskey...Leave the bottle."

'Whiskey and splash, sir.'

"We'd like to do a song that will barely penetrate your consciousness as you continue to enjoy those faddish cigars and single-malt scotches."

Milton wonders if it would be possible to substitute scotch and sex for tea and sympathy.

3 Pointless Things To Do At Christmas: Add a little festivity to your favourite fast food/Look up an old friend/Murder the Scotch.

"It doesn't matter if the glass is half empty or half full if you have a case."

"Is that neat whisky?"

'If you don't start feeling better in 24 hours, pour yourself a tall scotch.'

The Angel's Share

Blue Blazer Cocktail.

'What a cool way of blowing bubblegum!'