Enjoying Whisky Gifts

"Single malt scotches are good but I prefer regular old comfort booze."

"Think of it as twenty one in human years. I'll take a bourbon and toilet water."

"OK. . .stain, aspirin, water tablet, B12 vitamin, and whisky."

Join me in a Martini?

"I'm afraid our drinking water isn't pure."

Trump Poutine

Bernstein's got himself a driverless club

God taking iceburgs with ice tongs for his whisky.

"Jack Daniels-in-a-box"

"Grapes, Rye, Malt... I got into this through my vegetarianism."

'Your switching to Scotch? And after I've given you the best beers of my life!'

"A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single malt."

'Not only was the superbug immune to antibiotics, but it had developed a taste for Dr Jones' whisky.'

Whiskey wars

'I feel cosmopolitan tonight, Joe - Give me a scotch with an irish Chaser.'

3 Pointless Things To Do At Christmas: Add a little festivity to your favourite fast food/Look up an old friend/Murder the Scotch.

"I may be an aged whiskey, but inside I still feel like a fresh ear of corn!"

'Whiskey and splash, sir.'

"We'd like to do a song that will barely penetrate your consciousness as you continue to enjoy those faddish cigars and single-malt scotches."

"Whiskey...Leave the bottle."

"Hey, who wants to hear a great single-malt story."

Milton wonders if it would be possible to substitute scotch and sex for tea and sympathy.

Which Hogwarts house are you?

The Angel's Share

'This low-alcohol beer doesn't taste bad with a scotch in it.'

"For the perfect sedative, take the juice from a bottle of whisky..."

'If you don't start feeling better in 24 hours, pour yourself a tall scotch.'

"Is that neat whisky?"

Whiskey Bottle - Well it doesn't look like a paperweight to me.

Blue Blazer Cocktail.

'I'm very sorry, sir. Even for stressed out bankers, whiskey and gin aren't tax-deductible expenses.'

Beethoven's 1st, 2nd, 3rd, 4th and Fifth.