Whiskey Wonder Gifts

"Holy cow! This is bourbon!" "My husband is from Kentucky."

'You've had enough.'

'Well, now that I know he's the owner's son, yes, he's the best damned wine steward I've ever seen.'

"OK. . .stain, aspirin, water tablet, B12 vitamin, and whisky."

Join me in a Martini?

Cat Reunion

God taking iceburgs with ice tongs for his whisky.

"Events seem to be headed in the right direction. Unfortunately, it's not taking me with it."

"I hate it..."

'Not only was the superbug immune to antibiotics, but it had developed a taste for Dr Jones' whisky.'

Whiskey wars

'Whiskey and splash, sir.'

"Whiskey...Leave the bottle."

Which Hogwarts house are you?

'I feel cosmopolitan tonight, Joe - Give me a scotch with an irish Chaser.'

Milton wonders if it would be possible to substitute scotch and sex for tea and sympathy.

"Is that neat whisky?"

"For the perfect sedative, take the juice from a bottle of whisky..."

'If you don't start feeling better in 24 hours, pour yourself a tall scotch.'

The Angel's Share

"Our cat is the only god this home needs."

Pat's Bar, Rotgut Tasting 5-7.

She'd decided to apply for a species change...

"She got the house, six thousand a month and custody of our people."

'We have developed an APP we use to import ingredients from the Internet, merge them in the computer, and then download them into the distiller and then just bottle the output.'

"If the energy drink isn't working, try scotch."

"Ain't worth the whiskey!"

"I lick my fur and then rub against their legs. They think I'm being affectionate, but I'm actually just wiping cat spit on them."

"Hail to thee, blithe spirit!"

"Whiskey and splash coming up!"

You can kiss me later

"Who, Big Sal? Sure, we were in cahoots years ago, but we fell out of cahoots."

Before you feed him/After you feed him.

Need Cash for Alcohol Research.