Whiskey Wonder Gifts

"Holy cow! This is bourbon!" "My husband is from Kentucky."

'You've had enough.'

'Well, now that I know he's the owner's son, yes, he's the best damned wine steward I've ever seen.'

"OK. . .stain, aspirin, water tablet, B12 vitamin, and whisky."

Join me in a Martini?

Cat Reunion

God taking iceburgs with ice tongs for his whisky.

Keith Floyd.

"Events seem to be headed in the right direction. Unfortunately, it's not taking me with it."

"I hate it..."

'Not only was the superbug immune to antibiotics, but it had developed a taste for Dr Jones' whisky.'

Whiskey wars

'Whiskey and splash, sir.'

"Nice try, but I don't think whisky counts as an 'essential medication'."

Which Hogwarts house are you?

'I feel cosmopolitan tonight, Joe - Give me a scotch with an irish Chaser.'

Milton wonders if it would be possible to substitute scotch and sex for tea and sympathy.

"Whiskey...Leave the bottle."

"Our cat is the only god this home needs."

She'd decided to apply for a species change...

"For the perfect sedative, take the juice from a bottle of whisky..."

'If you don't start feeling better in 24 hours, pour yourself a tall scotch.'

Pat's Bar, Rotgut Tasting 5-7.

The Angel's Share

"Is that neat whisky?"

"She got the house, six thousand a month and custody of our people."

'We have developed an APP we use to import ingredients from the Internet, merge them in the computer, and then download them into the distiller and then just bottle the output.'

"Yes, I'm the Cowardly Lion, and I want a double shot of single malt courage for the Yellow Brick Road."

You can kiss me later

"Hail to thee, blithe spirit!"

Need Cash for Alcohol Research.

"Who, Big Sal? Sure, we were in cahoots years ago, but we fell out of cahoots."

"Whiskey and splash coming up!"

"I lick my fur and then rub against their legs. They think I'm being affectionate, but I'm actually just wiping cat spit on them."

"If the energy drink isn't working, try scotch."