Whimsical Humor Buff Gifts

'For goodness sake, man, snap out of it! We're not aliens from outer space! We're pixies! Pixies from your garden! Is that so difficult to understand?!'

Skipping Horse

"Actually, make that a double cream."

"Stepping on the gown never works. They run faster without it."

We're here at House of Java cafe at an all-too-familiar scene. House of Java.net Cybercafe. Tommy Jones, a local boy, has been caught stealing a scone. A minor offense? Not to the cafe's proprietor. He's demanding the boy be sentenced as an adult. But I'm eight! Wahhh! Add a year to the sentence for whining and crying.

Cat Nip.

Grand Canyon. What's so great about the Grand Canyon?...Most of it's missing!

Self Service Restaurant: 'Where do you keep the eggs?'

'The meek shall inherit the Earth!'

The Seven Dwarfs After Therapy

Cheeze Wiz.

'He does lack social skills.'

"Would the widdle Venus fly trap like a fly? You'll have to beg for it."

Sock Puppet in Literature

"I said slime."

Snowman with Happy Face Badge.

The Golfing Accident

Fishing line going in to water and then dropping down from sky at top of panel.

'Try and be pleasant dear, you don't want to alienate it.'

Wedding disaster #27.

A bird plays the flute to a cat.

"Halloween is the perfect time to land on Earth. Nobody will notice us and we can get free candy."

"And would you like flies with that?"

Dog in casino.

"Tonight I'm getting together with pals to sit around and croak."

Milk Bar - "Don't you think you've had enough?"

"Oh, yeah? Well, you smell nice!"

"Wait, has thou brought snacks?"

Stepping on clown's shoe...

"The new OS update should fix the bug that makes you want to murder everyone."

"Kids these days and their piercings..."

'My new cellphone has a 'self-help' program...'

"I've told you kids - that's not a toy!"

'We're well positioned, but we lack leadership.'

'Okay, I see it now...lame in the third hind leg on the left side!'