Ironic Humor Buff Gifts

"You really shouldn't judge people."

"It's 5 o'clock already! Where did the day go?"

"Stepping on the gown never works. They run faster without it."

Cat Nip.

Grand Canyon. What's so great about the Grand Canyon?...Most of it's missing!

"Yeah, he's cute but don't approach him. He's a service human."

Self Service Restaurant: 'Where do you keep the eggs?'

"The tests confirms you have short-term memory loss."

"Look! No hands!"

'The meek shall inherit the Earth!'

The Seven Dwarfs After Therapy

'He does lack social skills.'

Cheeze Wiz.

Snowman with Happy Face Badge.

"I have no thumbs."

A golden Big Boy holding a plate of poop

'-and you're living proof that ALL men are not born equal, runt!'

The Golfing Accident

"I've never heard of it, either, but nothing ventured, nothing gained, I always say!"

'Of course I stretched first. That's how I hurt myself.'

'They help with my nicotine patch addiction.'

Fishing line going in to water and then dropping down from sky at top of panel.

'Try and be pleasant dear, you don't want to alienate it.'

Wedding disaster #27.

"Halloween is the perfect time to land on Earth. Nobody will notice us and we can get free candy."

Gardening Calendar: January - The Snow will be deep now...get out into the garden...

"Grapes, Rye, Malt... I got into this through my vegetarianism."

Ezekiel and his Dog: "Have you been in the valley of dry bones again?"

'This wine is dreadful - try some.'

"And then on ab day they roll on their backs, flail, and mimic us in the throes of death."

"And would you like flies with that?"

Winter Weather.

'I found the home maintenance manual in the attic. I think it's got mildew.'

"The next song was sixties anthem for the youth subculture of revolution, anarchy and anti-establishment...and can now be heard in elevators worldwide."

Milk Bar - "Don't you think you've had enough?"