Irony Buff Gifts

Acme Refrigerator: 'It's not much, but it's paid for.'

Planet of the Mice

"The tests confirms you have short-term memory loss."

'Fasten yourself to your seats please.'

'Do you hunt bear?'

'Remember how you put Cain and Abel on the honor system'

'Gone to Amnesia class your Dinner is........somewhere'

'It's the new guidance counselor. He's lost.'

"It seems the broadness of your mind and the narrowness of your waist have changed places."

Gas Leak!

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

'According to our statistics department, 78.93 of the statistics they produce are worthless.'

Three gates of hell: marriage counseling, investments, company meetings

"Stepping on the gown never works. They run faster without it."

"So then, after I'd invented my time machine, I thought: why not go back and visit the good old days?"

Backfire

Cat Nip.

"Yeah, he's cute but don't approach him. He's a service human."

Grand Canyon. What's so great about the Grand Canyon?...Most of it's missing!

Self Service Restaurant: 'Where do you keep the eggs?'

Baby's first thought...Daddy's a moron.

Don't swallow. I've lost a contact.

"It says 'break glass' but it doesn't say what glass!'

"Your usually vicious sarcasm is weak. Go pump some irony."

"And we are proud to say we only use the freshest artificial ingredients."

"Well, look at the bright side, Timmy — you're 100 percent wrong."

Unpopular Street Signs: Road Work Behind, Speed Jump Ahead, Good Luck, Slow Distracted Adults.

'Dang it, I just washed this street. Boy, every time...'

'The meek shall inherit the Earth!'

The Seven Dwarfs After Therapy

"Bloody hell!"

For speedy operation and ease of control get a pony.

Cheeze Wiz.

'He does lack social skills.'

"We don't call them 'horns' anymore. They're interactive audio crash deterrent stimulators."