Joke Buff Gifts

'Ask me the next one.. I have irritable vowel syndrome.'

"Stepping on the gown never works. They run faster without it."

Grand Canyon. What's so great about the Grand Canyon?...Most of it's missing!

Backfire

Cat Nip.

"Yeah, he's cute but don't approach him. He's a service human."

Self Service Restaurant: 'Where do you keep the eggs?'

"The tests confirms you have short-term memory loss."

'The meek shall inherit the Earth!'

The Seven Dwarfs After Therapy

"We don't call them 'horns' anymore. They're interactive audio crash deterrent stimulators."

Cheeze Wiz.

'He does lack social skills.'

"Bloody hell!"

For speedy operation and ease of control get a pony.

A golden Big Boy holding a plate of poop

Snowman with Happy Face Badge.

A bear is sat on an armchair with old man slippers.

The Golfing Accident

"I have no thumbs."

Getting to Know You

"Is there a vegan option?"

Fishing line going in to water and then dropping down from sky at top of panel.

'Try and be pleasant dear, you don't want to alienate it.'

"Halloween is the perfect time to land on Earth. Nobody will notice us and we can get free candy."

'Yes... but is he a good watch dog?'

'Sorry, but I'm arresting you for being in possession of an endangered wild coho salmon.'

Wedding disaster #27.

"Britain's Got Talent is now in its tenth astonishingly brilliant year!"

A man walks his dog wearing a cone.

'He's our new Bone Specialist!'

'This fish isn't tank broken - I want a refund!'

"And would you like flies with that?"

Cat Hecklers

"And then on ab day they roll on their backs, flail, and mimic us in the throes of death."