Insider Joke Buff Gifts

'Don't mind me. The last place I worked was a real sweatshop.'

"Stepping on the gown never works. They run faster without it."

Cat Nip.

"Yeah, he's cute but don't approach him. He's a service human."

Grand Canyon. What's so great about the Grand Canyon?...Most of it's missing!

Self Service Restaurant: 'Where do you keep the eggs?'

"The tests confirms you have short-term memory loss."

'The meek shall inherit the Earth!'

The Seven Dwarfs After Therapy

Cheeze Wiz.

'He does lack social skills.'

"The boss likes people with strong convictions. You're hired."

"We need volunteers for the car chasing fundraiser."

The Golfing Accident

Snowman with Happy Face Badge.

A golden Big Boy holding a plate of poop

Getting to Know You

"I have no thumbs."

Fishing line going in to water and then dropping down from sky at top of panel.

"Halloween is the perfect time to land on Earth. Nobody will notice us and we can get free candy."

'Try and be pleasant dear, you don't want to alienate it.'

'I'd give you a raise, but I had to throw tantrums to make my parents give me anything as a kid.'

"And then on ab day they roll on their backs, flail, and mimic us in the throes of death."

Wedding disaster #27.

"And would you like flies with that?"

Milk Bar - "Don't you think you've had enough?"

"Oh, yeah? Well, you smell nice!"

Stepping on clown's shoe...

Pope tarts.

'My new cellphone has a 'self-help' program...'

"I've told you kids - that's not a toy!"

"The new OS update should fix the bug that makes you want to murder everyone."

'We're well positioned, but we lack leadership.'

'Okay, I see it now...lame in the third hind leg on the left side!'

'The next case Your Honor, is a palimony suit. The ant vs the grasshopper.'