Banter Buff Gifts

Liverpool FC Chairman - "It's Man United, they want to know if we've any trophy cabinets going spare."

'Been playing horseshoes long?'

"I'll have this guy, this guy, and this guy."

Menu. How much is that stuff? Read the hash tag.

No smoking section, no sugar section and no salt sections.

'Her bruxism resulted in a ferine bricole.'

"There's an INDICATION that we MAY be looking at the POSSIBILITY of a POTENTIAL partial recovery over the SHORT or LONG term ...But I wouldn't want you to hold me to that!"

"It takes me only one drink to get drunk. Its either the seventh or eighth."

A medical office filing cabinet has drawer labels that read, 'X-Rays,' 'Lab Work,' and 'Exam Room Banter'

"Are you sure? It doesn't look like a diet pill!"

Hey, calm down --- Now, what did you say again?

"Stepping on the gown never works. They run faster without it."

Grand Canyon. What's so great about the Grand Canyon?...Most of it's missing!

"Yeah, he's cute but don't approach him. He's a service human."

Cat Nip.

Self Service Restaurant: 'Where do you keep the eggs?'

'The meek shall inherit the Earth!'

"The tests confirms you have short-term memory loss."

The Seven Dwarfs After Therapy

Cheeze Wiz.

'He does lack social skills.'

The Golfing Accident

"I have no thumbs."

Snowman with Happy Face Badge.

A golden Big Boy holding a plate of poop

Fishing line going in to water and then dropping down from sky at top of panel.

"Halloween is the perfect time to land on Earth. Nobody will notice us and we can get free candy."

"And would you like flies with that?"

"He's my smart-aleck twin."

"I think it stopped breathing."

"And then on ab day they roll on their backs, flail, and mimic us in the throes of death."

'Try and be pleasant dear, you don't want to alienate it.'

"I just edited your Wikipedia entry." "Big whoop." "What a coincidence, that's what scientists have classified you as: Bigwhoop." "...The much grumpier, much louder, and much, much older second cousin of Bigfoot." "You lousy son of a..." "Wait... thank you. That's very flattering."

Peach flirting with a banana.

Wedding disaster #27.